Last Sunday, I joined my best friend Mandy for church.
The message was about raising your kids so that they would eventually grow up to be kind, intelligent and good people.
Mandy and I listened intently trying to memorize every word in hopes that one day our children would become adults that wanted to spend time with their parents.
In my mind, this was not an easy thing to do.
I take my parenting role very seriously and for the most part, I think I'm pretty good at my job.
But sometimes I get completely consumed with the everyday struggles that come with my position. The tantrums, the emotional ups and downs, the energy......oh, the energy! The Energizer Bunny has nothing on my kids.........NOTHING!
Some days it is nearly impossible to keep up with them. I've spoken before about collapsing on my couch shortly after I put the kids to bed. Some nights I am even too tired to treat myself to a glass of wine.
Can you believe that? Too tired!! For WINE?? That's a problem.
The night before church, I had planned on a lovely evening with my kiddies at the Santa Claus Parade. Since I had never taken them before, I was excited to share in this special moment with them.
But my special moment had soon turned into a pile of goo as Molly screamed and screamed over her snow pants.
"I WIW NOT WEAW MY SNOW PANTSSSSSS!!"
I took a deep breath and calmly responded "Yes you will. Put them on please."
"NOOOOOOOOO! Tate dose snow pants awaayyyyyy fwom meeeeeee!!"
I looked away from Molly and whispered quietly to myself, serenityyyyyy.......
I thought about my yoga practice and how it could help me at this very challenging moment. But for some reason the only thing that popped into my head was the image of a cat stuck in window blinds......??
After trying to squeeze Molly's big booty into too-tight snow-pants....all while she was kicking and screaming....I decided to give up. I realized that this was a hopeless task....and I didn't want to lose my cool.
But inside...my blood was boiling.
"MOLLY! You can't go see Santa if you don't wear your snowpants!"
She crossed her arms and huffed and looked away.
"I don't tawe. I don't want to see Santa. I want to stay HOME!"
Well, it was clear that Molly was not going to go to the parade.
She would not get to see Santa's belly shake like a bowl full of jelly while he rode down the street in his fancy red sleigh.
Refusing to cancel our plans and disappoint Lola, I instead left Molly with one of her best friends. Maybe Molly wouldn't see Santa or a red sleigh, but she would get perogies and a fancy red sports car.
"Vat?? Vat is going on? Molly! Vat did you do??"
Molly ran into my mom's arms and said, "I wiw stay wit you Babbi. They tan doe to da pawade. We wiw stay hewe otay?? Do you have pewodies??"
I left Mama's house feeling frustrated that things did not go as smoothly as I had planned. I wished that Molly was older so that I wouldn't have to deal with these annoying tantrums anymore.
After a long drive through tons of traffic, we had finally found a parking spot and were soon walking alongside the parade.
Lola held my hand tightly and kept saying "I'm having so much fun Mommy!"
I looked down at her and smiled as a snowflake fell right on her nose and melted away.
"Me too angel. Me too."
I thought about my earlier battle with Molly and her snow-pants. I definitely felt defeated. Just like a fighter in the ring, there were times that my 3 year old got some good shots in......even though I was the one with more experience.
But as I looked down at Lola, who continued to catch snowflakes on her nose and tongue, she suddenly resembled Molly. She looked innocent and very cute and like she was 3 years old again.
I stared at her and realized that she would never be 3 again.
As I watched the snowflakes melt on Lola's warm face, suddenly my frustration from the day had also melted away.
I scooped Lola up and kissed her. And within minutes the sky was filled with fireworks. Her face lit up as she watched the sparkles fall around her.
I made a point to live in that moment and truly soak it all up.
Because I knew, it would never come again.
When I got back to Mama's house, Molly ran into my arms.
"Mommy. I didn't want to go to Santa. And I don't lite my snow-pants."
I started laughing.
"It's ok baby! It doesn't matter".
She kissed me with her tiny little lips and squeezed my neck really hard.
Our fight in the ring was over.
It was a tie.
We both won.
--------------------------------------------------
Mandy and I sat listening to the Pastor finish his sermon. And as he did, the band quietly went up on stage.
The lead singer began singing a song by Trace Adkins, and when he got to the chorus, my eyes filled up with tears....
You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast.
I sat listening to the lyrics of the song trying to hold back the tears, wondering if anyone else was getting choked up.
And then I heard my best friend sniffle, and reach into her purse for a tissue.
The days may be long.....but the years are short.
And I just have to keep reminding myself that in the blink of an eye, these kids will be adults. And hopefully good ones if I continue to do my job right.
Raising children is a transition......and I need to remember to love my transitions. Good or bad.
Because some moments will be spent struggling with your 3 year old as she refuses to put on her snow-pants. And those will be the tough times.
But other moments will be amazing.
They will be incredible.
They will be......fireworks.
But even fireworks, they light up the sky, and then they are gone.
So if I know that and remember that every moment in my life only happens once.....then perhaps that moment becomes that much more special ;)
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