I'm sick.
I have a cold.
It sucks.
It's one of those stupid colds that lingers around forever. And you know how much I hate "lingerers". Ughhh.....lingerers.
It's one of those stupid colds that no doctor will prescribe any medication for because it's a "virus and not a bacterial infection".
Great. That doesn't help me at all.
So..... I just cough.
And hack.
And cough some more.
Sometimes the cough gets so bad that I have to drink hot water with lemon and honey for hours on end. And if that doesn't work, then I take cough medicine. And if that doesn't work, then I suck on a Polish eucalyptus candy. And if THAT doesn't work......then I spray Chloraseptic spray a million times down my throat.
I know what you're thinking. How could something from Poland NOT work? I know right?? It boggles my mind too. I might have to contact the Polish Consulate about this....
Anyway, for some reason the Polish eucalyptus candies won't work for this cough, but the Chloraseptic spray does. The fact that I get SOME relief from this God awful cough is good enough for me. But the results are only temporary so I have to plan my day very carefully around this cold.
I did my whole spray routine the other day right before I had to run some errands, in hopes that I wouldn't have an embarrassing attack outside of my home. Because looking and sounding disgusting in the privacy of your own home is one thing.....but doing it in front of complete strangers? Well that's completely unacceptable.
I went to the library first. But as I made my way to the kids section, I felt it.
That tiny and annoying little tickle that scratches the back of your throat. I knew what was happening. The cough attack was coming. I quickly threw all my books down on a table and walked at a very quick pace to the bathroom.
I tried very, very hard to stifle the cough.....but it was coming....and it was fierce. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I started gagging. I gagged and made weird hacking noises as I burst into the women's washroom and ran into a stall.
There, in the bathroom stall, I coughed violently for 5 minutes straight. My throat and chest were hurting, my stomach was aching and there were tears pouring down my face.
When my cough finally subsided....I felt such relief. I took a deep breath and relaxed.......until I realized that I was deep-breathing in a public bathroom.
I finally felt good enough to leave. And when I opened the door to the stall, I was surprised to come face to face with a very disheveled looking old lady.
"You arrright??" she said in a slurred and raspy voice.
"Oh yes. I'm so sorry. I have this yucky cough. Were you in here the whole time?" I asked while making my way to the sink.
"Yeahhhh. You sound ROUGH! You need to get to a dawc-tor" She pulled out a pack of cigarettes and flicked them in her hands.
"Oh, yeah. I did. They sent me home. Said I should just rest and drink hot fluids. But that was over a week ago. I'm sure it'll go away soon".
"Nawwwww. You have whooping cough." She said very confidently as she looked me right in the eyes.
There was a moment of silence as we stared at each other.
"Ummmm. No....I don't think so? The doctor checked me. He said I just have a virus".
"Nope. It's whooping cough. I can tell. I've had it before." She pulled out a cigarette from the pack and stuck it in her mouth.
"Oh. Ok. Thanks. I'll look into it." I washed my hands and walked over to the air dryer.
She wasn't leaving the bathroom though. In fact, she stepped even closer towards me.
"You.....you need some good meds. Like, REALLY good meds." She said while pointing her cigarette at me.
"Oh ok. You think? Like what?" Why I was asking her advice, I have no clue. But clearly she had my best interests at heart.
"Like...strong stuff. Really strong stuff. Cough medicine with co....co.....what's it called again? Oh yeah! CODEINE! You needs lots of codeine." She sniffed and brushed her long curly grey hair out of her face.
"Codeine. Ok. Got it. Thanks. I will. Bye!"
I walked out of the bathroom thinking that our encounter was finally over, but she walked out with me!
"My grandkid had whooping cough. It was really bad. We went to the hospital and everything".
"Oh geez. I'm sorry. Is he ok now??" Now I felt bad for her.
"Oh yeah. He's 20 now."
Oh brother!
Without saying goodbye, she finally just turned towards the door and left, still muttering about whooping cough.
I walked away from her wondering how is it that I always get stuck in these weird little conversations with strangers? Why does this always seem to happen to me?
I finally made it back to the kid's section and was quickly grabbing a few movies and books for Lola and Molly when I felt the tickle again.
Goddamit!!
I grabbed what I could and ran to the computer to check out my items. As I scanned my card, I started hacking again. I stepped away from the computer so that I wouldn't cough my germs onto the screen. And as I backed up, I bumped into an old man who worked at the library.
"Oh dearrr. That's a pretty bad cough you got there eh? I remember one time I got this bad cold. Oh man. It was rough. I was on all sorts of meds. But the only thing that helped me sleep and rest was this strong stuff. I think it had....what's that drug called again?"
I was now leaning over the computer table coughing, my head buried in my hands.
I managed to stop hacking for just a second and look up so that I could whisper one word......
"Codeine??"
"YEAH! Haha! How'd you know? Anyway.....it was a bad cough. Have you seen a doctor yet?? I've got this great guy! Old friend of mine. He became a doctor but I've always loved the library, that's why I got this job here....."
I folded my arms on the table in front of the computer and rested my head on top of them.
It was clear I wasn't going anywhere. So I just lay there as the old man went on and on about his job.
Sometimes you just need to give your body what it needs. And you need to stop moving and just rest.
And sometimes...........you just need codeine ;)
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