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One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila.....Mama!




A night, not too long ago, I was invited to my neighbours' house for dinner and drinks.

It was exactly what I needed that night.  Good friends, good food, and good drinks.

As my neighbour grilled chicken on the bar-b-q, his wife and I sat and drank Corona's at the patio set nearby.

As he flipped a large chicken breast, covered in red seasoning, he said to me, "Leo!  Tonight is Mexican-inspired for you!!  I made a tangy mexican rub for the meat, we're drinking coronas, and soon, a shot of Tequila!!"

I burst out laughing while I held my fingers in a giant X towards him, "No!  No tequila for me!!  Corona is just fine, thank you!!"

He went "PFFFTTTT!" and waved his hand at us ridiculous girls and and then kept on with his bar-b-q'ing.



Several hours later, we had taken the party inside.  With bellies full of yummy food, we were catching up on time spent apart, laughing at hilarious stories and listening to our favourite 80's music.  

My friend's husband, who is Croatian, reminisced of his younger days growing up in the homeland.  We listened intently as he told stories of his country and upbringing which was rich with culture and discipline.  We were very intrigued.

He suddenly stood up from the table and said, "Ladies, I'm sorry.  But I'm having a shot of Tequila.  Who's with me??"

As he pulled a BEAUTIFUL Tequila bottle out of the freezer, I looked over at his wife and we both made the same face.

It was that face that you make when you REALLY don't want to do something, but you REALLY feel like you have to.  

His wife finally said, "FINE!  But only ONE shot!  And make it SMALL!!!"

He burst out laughing and yelled, "YES!!"

And seconds later, we were holding up our shots high in the air, and in customary Croatian/Polish fashion, we made a toast....to our friendship of course..... and then we all yelled "TEQUILA!!"


I winced after I took my shot.  My buddy laughed at me (and at his wife, who made the same face of course) and he yelled, "Another???"


And just as I was about to say NO, I opened my mouth, and instead I yelled....."TEQUILA!!!"


-----------------------------------------------------------------------

5 shots later



"You know who we need to call??" 


I laughed at my buddy, "Who??  Who do we need to call??"


He and his wife both simultaneously yelled, "MAMA!!!"

(If you don't know this by now, Mama is the life of any party!)
So within seconds I had Mama on the phone, and within 10 minutes, Mama was at the table with us doing a shot of Tequila.  Because that's how Mama rolls ;)

May I mention at this time that Mama did not show up in a track suit, or yoga pants.  Even with an unexpected phone call for her to come over, Mama showed up looking flawless, with white flowing linen pants, a thin light grey sweater, perfect platinum hair, and nails perfectly painted.  It actually wouldn't surprise me if Mama painted her nails on the way over here.

Mama, in her 69'th year, looked just perfect.  This woman ALWAYS had it together.

And even after her second shot, Mama was still the epitome of elegance.

But I.....was not.


I was..... drunkety-drunk-drunk!!


I suddenly started hiccuping.  

My friend's husband burst out laughing at me.  Which made me laugh.  Which then made me hiccup again.  And so on and so forth.  


Another hour later and a massive storm had hit.

There was thunder and lightening, and now Mama and I were starting to worry about how she was going to get home?

Because even though Mama always has the option to sleep over at my place (which was right next door), I knew she would want to get to her own bed.

So Mama borrowed an umbrella, said her thank-you's and good-bye's and ran out the door.   

I drunkenly slurred after her as she sprinted home in the storm "MAMA!" (hiccup) "CALL ME....." (hiccup) "WHEN YOU...." (hiccup) "GET HOME!!" (hiccup).




I THINK Mama called me when she got home.

But I can't really recall.

All I know is that I made it to my bed.  In one piece.





But the next morning ladies and gentlemen...... was rough!


Luckily the hiccups were gone, but the headache had just begun.


I slowly made my way down the stairs.


It was then that I heard pots and pans and other noises.  Who was here??  



I finally made it to the kitchen, only to find Mama preparing me breakfast.

Mama does not normally show up unexpected like this.  She must have suspected that I would be a hot mess this morning :(


Oh crap.   She's gonna be pissed at me.


She's going to give me a HUGE lecture about drinking and how it's not worth it, and how this is why you get headaches, blah, blah, blah......


Well........

I guess I deserved it.  

I just needed to suck it up and take whatever she was going to throw at me. The lecture would go by faster then. (ps - In that moment I kind of felt like I was a teenager again!?) 


Anyway, I entered the kitchen quietly.


"Hi Mama"  I said meekly.


And Mama turned around, looked me up and down, shook her head, and yelled.....



"TEQUILA!!!!"















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