Ridiculous Girl

Today is my birthday. As you can tell, I don't shy away from it.  I feel like I've lived a long time and yet I still look forward to my birthday every single year.   Probably because I don't think of my birthday as getting "older" but rather, as yet another opportunity to get friends together and party. Every year for my birthday, we go to the cottage.  This weekend I went with my sister and Mama.  I invited my close girlfriends but they said they were all busy and none of them could attend. But that didn't bother me.  I didn't even ask why they were so busy.  I just typed into my iPhone:  "Shift self-birthday party to next weekend.  Also - buy lots of wine.  Also - call Ricky to see if he is available.  Also - shave your legs". Because none of my friends would be able to celebrate my birthday weekend with me, I had just resolved that this weekend would be a nice quiet weekend with Mishi and Mama.  Mama was in the middle of one of her i

I love how kids live in the moment. They have the ability to channel what they're feeling without any other cares in the world.  And one of the most interesting qualities about children, I think,  is their ability to fall in love with people the minute they meet them, regardless of who these other little people are. Just recently I took the girls to the library.  Lola, my social butterfly, immediately meets another girl her age and they start coloring together.  When I walk over to check out her drawings, she excitedly announces "Mommy!  This is Madelaine!  My new BEST FRIEND!" I start laughing. Only a 4-year old would make a new best friend within 2 minutes of meeting her. 2 days later, we meet our new neighbor and his 2 little girls.  Tim comes over and introduces himself.  Lola is already jumping off her bike, staring at the girls the entire time, with her mouth wide open. "Hi.  I'm Lola.  What's your name?", she says in a very matter-of-fact

My eyes are shut. I hear loud music. I'm being forced into a chair. I can't take it anymore.... "Can I open my eyes NOW?" "Yes!!"  they all answer. I slowly open my eyes.  Everything is a blur.  Bright lights are flashing directly at me.  I'm squinting now.  Wait......I see something.......no.....someone.  It's a man.  He's walking towards me.  I finally gain my focus. Oh.............my.............God................. "Ladies!!  Are you ready for the night of your lives??  Welcome to the stage.....our main attraction......RICKY LOCO!!!" ------------------------ 12 hours earlier. I'm lying on the couch. The kids have just left with their Dad for the weekend.   It's been a rough week.  I'm exhausted.  This divorce is draining me. I want to run away.   I want to get out of this stupid town and escape it all.   I'm tired of this fight.  I'm tired of court, of lawyers and of my life.  But alas..

On August 20th, it will be exactly 1 year since I separated from my ex-husband. A lot has happened in the past year.   Without divulging any details......let's just say that it hasn't been the easiest year of my life.  No.  Let's say that it has been the worst year of my life.  No, I can't say that either.  Hmmmm.....let's just say that my life has COMPLETELY changed in the past year.  When life throws you a challenge, you have no choice but to run with it.  If you don't, you get trampled.  In my case, I would have gotten trampled by a herd of lions chasing a gazelle!!   (I'm the gazelle, if you didn't figure it out.  I kind of look like a gazelle actually.  No.....maybe a giraffe.  I'm not limber and sleek and fast like a gazelle.......I'm more awkward like a tall giraffe.  Not even an adult giraffe....I'm like a tall, awkward, newborn, baby giraffe.  Ok......I digress.......) So for the past year, I was thrown numerous challenges. 

Being a newly single mom to 2 small children is .........well........how should I put it?  Insane.  It's insane.  It's busy, it's crazy and you don't stop moving or talking for a single second.  So I'd love to say that the days that I don't have the girls are the days that I sit and relax and stare off into space.......but alas......no.  Those are the days where I REALLY swing into action.  Those are the days that I get 101 tasks completed in a mere 8 hour time-frame.  Like my BFF always says "If you need to get something done......ask a busy Mom!!" The other day.......one of my alone days......I had been running around like a chicken with my head cut off and I was just about ready to pass out from exhaustion.  But I had approximately 20 minutes left before the girls would be dropped off and I really didn't want to spend my last short amount of time playing Candy Crush on the couch (although I'm proud to announce that I've successfully

So this past weekend, we all enjoyed a lovely family reunion & birthday party for my Aunt who turned 80 years old.  I love when the whole family gets together.  It's a great way for me to catch up with all of my cousins.  They are all about 10 years younger than me........but I act as if we're all the same age.  I think they like it.  They probably think I'm really hip and cool. My cousins all started asking about my little girls and how they are as sisters. "Oh, they're awesome!" I answer, "Super close.  Really loving.  Kind of like me and Mishi".   I throw my arm around my sister. "What are you talking about??"  my sister says while giving me the stink eye. "Mishi!  We had a great relationship growing up!"  I say loudly with a bit of a laugh.  Then I give my sister a sideways glance so that she stops talking immediately.   She does not get the hint because she continues..... "Lodz!!"   Mishi yells my nick-

Someone once called me the "skinniest fat person" they know.   "What do you mean?"  I ask curiously.  It kind of sounds like a compliment, but I have to make sure..... "Well"  the man answered "You barely work out, you love to eat junk food, but you're really skinny". I smile and tip my head downwards.  This is TOTALLY a compliment. "Thanks, that's so sweet!" "That wasn't a compliment"  he says. "Whaa???" "You SHOULD work out.  And you SHOULDN'T eat junk food". "Hahaha!  You're hilarious!"  I laugh and walk away.  That guy was funny! So I'm sitting at the Y the other day sipping my coffee, when the Zumba instructor (or Zumba lady as I like to call her) walks by me. I look up at her and quickly look away, like I didn't see her. "LEEOOOOO!!!"  she says in an angry voice. "Oh hey!  I didn't see you there!  How's it goin?  How's ....z

So I'm at my BFF's house the other day for a kids playdate........and who's kidding who....for me to finally talk to an adult.  If I had to play one more game of hide-and-go-seek, or listen to Dora's high-pitched voice for any longer....God only knows what I would do to myself.......or to Dora. My BFF and I have children almost the same age. We have toddlers, who 4 years old, and babies, who are a year and a half.    The babies were napping so we only had the toddlers to deal with, who are a handful alone.  I'm always shocked at how loud they are.  (This is where my sister would yell...."LODZ - YOU'RE LOUD!  SHE GOT IT FROM YOU!"  and I would answer in a whisper..."I'm not THAT loud". On a regular basis I wonder how a toddler can talk nonstop for an entire day.  Literally.  An entire day.  No joke.  Like.....24 hours long.  There is not a moment of silence in my house.  Very often I whisper "shhhhh" under my breath or &

So this past Saturday I went out with my sister and all her friends for her birthday.  The plan was to go to a trendy new Asian restaurant and then go dancing afterwards. My sister is tall, skinny and gorgeous.....and 7 years younger than me.  I am still waiting for her to gain weight.  She has been 8 pounds since the day she was born and I am patiently waiting for her to develop our famous Walc "thighs".  She just turned 30.  I'm thinking this is a lost cause. The day of her party, I am running seriously behind.  I say "seriously" because I am always running behind.  I am notoriously late for everything.  But this day, I was VERY late.  I text her on my way down, that I still needed to swing by the mall and look for a top to wear that night.  I run through the mall as fast as I can.  Most of the stores are catered to younger girls......teenagers mostly.  But since I feel "young" on the inside, I'm feeling confident that I can pull any of thes