Monday, 24 April 2017

Game over.

Once Handsome Guy messaged me, that was it!  GAME ON!  

I was 100% hooked......for the second time.  

And I could not wait to see him again.  All of those butterflies in my stomach that I had the first time around came rushing back.

But I shared my excitement with my family and friends, they didn't seem as supportive as I thought they would be.

"But babe, nothing's going to change", said my best friend, "You're still 2 hours away from each other and you still have impossible schedules. Where is this relationship going to go?"

I pouted to my best friend who just poured me another glass of red wine.   "But...." I answered meekly, "maybe it'll work out this time??  We're really good together hun..."  

She answered in a way that only a best friend could answer. Strong, yet supportive.

"Babe.  You always figure everything out.  So I know you'll figure this one out too.  I totally support you no matter what you decide". 

And with that, I chugged my red wine, and looked down at my cell which was exploding with cute texts from him.

I smiled at the thought of seeing Handsome Guy again, but I couldn't help but wonder, was my best friend right?  

Would things never change between us?  Was I walking into something that was just going to be a cyclical pattern of an impossible relationship??

But why couldn't things work between us?  

Wasn't there even the slightest possibility of the two of us figuring this out??  After all, we were both lovely and passionate people.  And also HILARIOUS.  That's a deadly combination folks!

Anyway....there was only one way to find out.  

I needed to see him again.  



The night of our reunion, I was nervous. It reminded me of our first date.

I checked my hair 10 times.  I reapplied my lipstick 7 times, and I re-applied my Versace perfume about 5 times.  

By the way, you can NEVER put on enough perfume!  That whole "spritz and walk into the mist" thing...??  That's ridiculous.  I DIRECTLY sprayed perfume onto my neck, my wrists, my hair, my stomach and my chest.  I mean...what's the point of spending $100 on perfume if you're going to waste it by spraying it into the AIR?  That's just poor financial planning if you ask me.

Anyway, I also ran like a hyena between my bedroom mirror down to my front hallway mirror and then finally to my kitchen mirror to check how I looked, and I repeated this loop for about 20 minutes.......until I heard his car pull into my driveway.


This was it!

It had been 8 LONG weeks since we had last seen each other, and luckily for me....I mean him ;)  we did not have to wait another second.

I ran to my door just as he walked in.  One glance... and one smile.... and we were goners.  

Not a word was exchanged between us. 

But once again my poor hallway and front door were exposed to yet another passionate reunion.  

It seemed like ages before either of us finally spoke, until he finally whispered,  "God I missed you...." which was soon followed by...."you smell AMAZING!"

And I just giggled.... 

See!??  I told you I knew how to apply perfume!!


Later on that night, Handsome Guy suggested that we go and have dinner at the restaurant that we went to on our second date.  Very nostalgic and very romantic.  I was totally into this idea.

But even though I was back on cloud 9 with him, I kept getting a strange feeling in my stomach that something wasn't right.

So what does Ridiculous Girl do in this situation?  

Well, I momentarily ignored my feelings in order to stay on the high.  (By the way.... TOTALLY NOT what you should do!)  And I also told my feelings to "SHUTTY!" and at the next red light, I leaned over in his car, and grabbed his face and kissed him.......for a VERY long time.  And then I said to my feelings "TAKE THAT!"

We got to the restaurant and it was completely dark and empty.  And I wondered whether they had already closed for the evening.  But the hostess assured us that we were fine and they were still open.  She even joked that we had the restaurant to ourselves and then led us to a quiet candle-lit table in the corner.

Once we sat down and got cozy, Handsome Guy ordered steak and wine and charcuterie for us.  And over our incredible drinks and scrumptious dinner,  we talked and laughed and got all caught up.   It was just like old times.  Very reminiscent and extremely comfortable. It was so easy to fall for each other all over again in that setting.  

But even though everything seemed amazing,  I once again got that ugly feeling in the pit of my stomach.  

And this time I knew that my gut (and the universe) were desperately trying to tell me something.  

I wanted to ignore the feelings so badly, but I knew that I shouldn't.

I knew that even though Handsome Guy and I were a fabulous match on so many levels, there were things that we just couldn't make work.  And that's why we broke up in the first place.  

So why was I here again??

And then as if on cue, our hostess and waitress both came over and told us what a good-looking and great couple we were.  

We just looked at each other and smiled.

And again I thought to myself what a sick sense of humour the universe has.


Falling asleep in his arms that night was just the best feeling, but waking up with him was even better. 

And just like old times, as I stayed in the shower a ridiculously long time, he went downstairs to the kitchen to get breakfast started.  And soon after, the delicious smell of bacon and eggs filled my home.

What was funny was how instantly we fell back into our old routine. 

On the outside, everything seemed SO perfect.  

But on the inside, I knew better.

And if we couldn't make things work long-term, then our perfect night, our perfect date, our perfect morning...... well, it just had to end, once and for all.

Because I couldn't be in a relationship that didn't work on all levels.

And although walking away from Handsome Guy would be the hardest thing I've done in a very long time, I knew it was the right thing to do. 

As we stood in the kitchen after breakfast staring at each other, me leaning against the counter and him standing near the fridge, he said quietly,  " getting together .....totally harmless right?"

I laughed sarcastically and said  "Yeah.... sure."

When it was time for him to leave, we kissed extra last time.... and then I watched him get into his car, and drive away.

And as I stood at my front door watching him leave, I whispered, "Bye Brad".

And then I started crying.

I not only cried because it was over, but I started crying because for the first time in a VERY LONG TIME, I had decided to do something that was healthy for me.  

And I hadn't done that in YEARS .  

And I walked away from a relationship that wasn't going anywhere. 

And even though I wanted to stay with him SO badly, I knew that I needed and I deserved more.

And as his car turned the corner, at the end of my street, and I saw him drive away, I finally closed my front door......

.....and ultimately closed the door to this chapter of my life.

Monday, 17 April 2017

Handsome Guy

It's been a while since I've written about Handsome Guy.  And there's a reason for that.

Sadly, we broke up.

Nothing really bad happened.   It just seemed like our time together had come to an end.  The 2 hour commute between our homes along with an almost impossible schedule to deal with (his, and mine), took planning our visits from exciting to downright frustrating.

There came a day when I just knew, deep in my heart, that it was time to let go and move on.

Our break-up was very sad, but sweet.  

We both knew that this was the best decision for the both of us, and we separated in the most adoring and amicable way.

In fact, we joked about how easy our "divorce" was.  He promised to be a good guy and not torture me with 4 years of court ;)  I laughed and in turn asked if he would like to share custody of my beloved jack russell terrier Bruce Lee.  He laughed and said "hell no!  he's ALL yours!"  

Aside:  Bruce Lee had actually tried to bite Handsome Guy while we were dating........but PLEASE don't let this be an indicator of what kind of dog Bruce is.  Because he is, by all means, the MOST incredible and most beautiful dog you have ever seen in your life.  He's just misunderstood.  And angry.  And hates anyone who comes within a 1 metre radius of me.  I mean, can you blame him??? 

Sorry.......... I digress.  Back to the story!  

Anyway, Handsome Guy and I joked a little bit more, but then the time had come for us to say our final good-bye's.   

And then, we parted ways.  


The brutal thing about break-ups is that they send you through a wave of emotions. 

Usually the first week is the hardest.  But in our case, my first week was the easiest.  

Handsome Guy and I were used to not seeing each other everyday, so the first week
was just like any other week, and in that first week, I was actually feeling very confident in my decision to end things, and was very proud of myself for deciding to move on from something that wasn't working for me.

I bragged to my coworkers the next day that "this was the BEST decision for me.  I'm really proud of myself".

....and to my sister  "it's just that, we weren't meant to be, ya know??  So I guess it's time to move on."

......and then to my girlfriends "He was so great. And we had tons of fun, but I need more from a ya get my drift??"

Everyone in my life was very proud of me that I was moving on so easily.  But not very happy that I was trying to bring back the saying "do ya get my drift?" :(

But unfortunately by week two, I was an absolute mess.  

But I didn't KNOW that I was an absolute mess.  I was just very miserable and angry everywhere I went.

My coworkers said things like, "Is it that time of month for you??"

......and my sister asked,  "You sure you're ok??"

.....and then finally, my girlfriends said, "You seem REALLY frustrated.  Is it possible that this frustration is because you MISS Handsome Guy??"



Weeks 3 through 6 were a blur.  I don't even remember them.

I guess I was just going through the motions of life, but it was finally clear to me that I really missed Handsome Guy, and thoughts of him hounded me all day long.  

And as it often happens, when you're desperately trying to forget someone or something, somehow the universe has a sick sense of humour by torturing you with constant reminders of them.

Everywhere I went, I thought I caught glimpses of him.

Even my girlfriend's attempt to drag me to a local bar to forget about Handsome Guy one night ended in failure.  

I was hit on by a young guy who I was not interested in at all.  As he went on and on about himself, I looked around the room and wished that Handsome Guy would suddenly walk in the door.

"What month were you born in??"  he asked me eagerly.

"Ummm....September."  I answered unenthusiastically.  And then I remembered how Handsome Guy was born in the same month as me.

"NO WAY!" bar guy yelled, "So am I!! LOOK!!" And he pulled out his wallet only to show me his driver's license with a birthdate of September 20th......the same birthdate as Handsome Guy.

I sighed and went back to my drink.

I thought of Handsome Guy all of the time.  

And I wanted more than ever to reach out.  To say hi.  A quick little text.  Just to see how his day at work went.

I strongly debated doing this one night.....against all of my better judgement.

And now here's the funny thing about break-ups.  Even when you're doing the right thing, you're still "pulled" to do the wrong thing.  And your heart just keeps telling you that it's ok to be pulled towards the wrong thing, because THIS is a relationship and so THIS makes it different.

And when it comes to love and relationships, THAT my friends, is when you are at your absolute weakest, and you seem to have zero control over your mind and you have zero concept of proper decision making.

BUT, as I was about to text him, something came over me and told me not to.  

So instead, I slowly put down my cell, picked up my glass of red wine and went back to watching Iron Man.  

Because what else do you do when you're depressed??

And because I was not going to reach out to him, and he wasn't reaching out to me either, I had finally come to the conclusion that we would never re-kindle our romance again :( 

So I guess it was officially over.

And that night, as I got ready for bed and brushed my teeth, I looked down and saw the one last thing in my house that I had forgotten to give back to him.  The last reminder of his visits and the last reminder of him.

And I grabbed his toothbrush, held it above the garbage for a brief second and then finally let go.

I sighed, and went to bed.

But as I tossed and turned that night, I realized that I couldn't let go.

And my last thought as I drifted off to sleep was, I wonder if he's still thinking of me too...?


The next day, while I was getting ready to shovel the (goddam-f'ing) snow off of my driveway, my phone dinged with a new text.

Hey.  I miss you.

When I saw who it was, I just smiled and bit my lip.

I guess he WAS thinking of me ;)

And I guess he wasn't ready to let go either........ be continued.

For more blogs on Ridiculous Girl and Handsome Guy:





Monday, 10 April 2017

Jesse & Veronica

Continued from last entry.....


On Mama's last trip to Cuba, she decided to go alone.  She was slightly apprehensive at the thought of going to a new place without a companion, but I convinced her that she would be fine.  With her personality and outgoing nature, Mama would have no troubles meeting someone knew.

After her week away, our first question to her when she returned wasn't "How was the resort?"  or "How was the weather?" or "Was anyone else wearing the same bathing suit as you??" (a common annoyance for Mama). Instead it was "Did you meet any friends??"

Mama quickly responded.  

Now remember, don't forget the Polish accent.... 


"Oh my Lord, you have NO idea.  EVERY-BADDY vanted to be vit me.  I already knew 5 people coming off da plane.  Can you imagine?  Every-baddy was so nice.....but no one could beat Veronica".

I was listening to Mama while preparing 2 Folgers coffees.  I picked up the hot cups and slowly walked over to the kitchen table.

"That's great Mama!  I KNEW you'd meet people!  Who's Veronica?  A nice old lady??"

"Oh no!  Veronica vas dis young crazy girl dat I became, like, best friends vith.  We were togedder all da time.  She never vanted to leave me!  And she vas POLISH!  Can you believe dat??"  Mama stopped to take a sip of her coffee. 

"Oh? She was young?  How young?"  For some reason this threw me off and I missed my mouth when trying to sip my black silk coffee.  The hot liquid split down my chin and onto my lap.

"Like tventy, I guess?  Vy are you making such a mess?  Don't you know ver your mout is?  Anyway, da craziest ting happened ven ve vere suntanning on da beach.  Dis guy comes up to Veronica and says "I didn't know you would be here?"  Turns out, dis is a guy dat she met on anudder trip!  She says she is not interessed in him, but I said to her "Veronica!  Dis could be fate you know!  Maybe he is da one??" .....

As Mama went on and on about her new best friend,  all I could think of the hell did Mama become Veronica's new best friend and protege, and even helped her find the man of her dreams, all in under a WEEK??  And on a hot, sunny beach of all places??  

What about me??  Did she forget that her first priority was to find ME a hunky beach man??  

This was entirely unacceptable.  Mama had a new best friend.....and it wasn't me.  AND on top of it all, this chick was younger than me!  This couldn't get any worse.

I took another sip of my coffee and missed my mouth again.



In the middle of choosing bananas at the grocery store the other day my cell phone rang.  I grabbed it and saw the caller's name.  MAMA.

"Hey Ma!  What's up?", I pressed the phone between my ear and shoulder and continued on my quest to find the perfect greeny-yellow bananas.  

"Nutting.  Vat are you doing?"

"Just shopping at No Frills.  Do you need anything from here?"

"Oh. You are at No Frills??"

Mama does this everytime. She repeats where I am, thinks about it, and then decides if this was a good decision on my part.

After a few seconds of silence she continues,

"Yeah I guess der are some good sales der dis veek.  I tink lactose-free milk is on sale?  And so is butter.  Do you need butter?"

"Um, no Ma.  Do YOU need anything?"  

"No.  I haf everyting I need.  So listen, I went to Jessie and Josh's last night.  Oh my Gawd!  He is really hilarious you know.  He answered da door vearing dis big sveater, but it vasn't a sveater, it has a huge blanket.  He said he vas really cold.  He looked like a bear!  I said to him Jessie, vat are you....a bear??  Ve laughed SO hard!!"

Jessie is Mama's OTHER new best friend.  A gay man who lives across the street from her and who has developed a relationship with Mama akin to a long-lost son.

I knew they were becoming close when I observed them together at my mom's Christmas party back in November.

"Jean!" Jessie yelled as he ran towards my mom, one hand holding a glass of red wine, the other hand motioning up and down towards her dress,  " You look fabulous!  Anyway, listen, do you know what's going on with that weird neighbor down the street?  The one we were unsure about?  Cause I think I have a theory."

Mama's eyes suddenly went huge and she leaned in towards Jessie.  "Vat's going on?  Tell me!"

"Wellllll, I'm just sayin'.....I see women going in.....but I don't see them going out.....?!  And you know how observant I am, right Jean?  I'm pretty sure he's a murderer."  Jessie lifts up one hand like a stop sign and rolls his eyes upwards as if to let the world know that he just figured everything out.

Mama purses her lips and slaps her thigh.

"I knew it Jessie!  I knew someting vas off!".

So......Mama's new best friends are a 20-year old and a gay man.  

And I was jealous. 

And there was no way I could compete with this new talent.  It was impossible. 

I know what you're thinking.  That I must be over-reacting.  

Really?  Is that what you think?

Then how do you explain the fact that my daily phone calls with Mama have dwindled down from 3 calls to a measly 1 call per day??  

How the hell can you build a relationship on only 1 phone call a day???


The other day, the girls and I were at Mama's.

Mama ran out of the family room and grabbed kid's clothes that she bought at Old Navy and excitedly showed them to me.

"Vat do you tink??  Amazing eh?  All for $2.97 each!  Der sales are de best!"

"Wow Ma!  $2.97???  That's crazy!!"  I was going through all her finds, "There are some good stuff in here!"

"Yeah I know.  But don't you luff da colours?"

"They're amazing!!  Thanks Ma!"

"Ok, vat about my hair?  I need to change da colour.  I'm sick of it you know!  Should I go darker or leave it like it is??"

I was sort of shocked that my mom was still wanting my opinion. 

"What do your friends think??"  I gave my mom a sideways glance to see if she knew where I was going with this.

"Vat friends?  YOU are my friend."  

And with that, I realized that it doesn't matter who is in my mom's life, because at the end of the day, I'm her daughter.   And nothing beats a daughter!  Daughters have a connection with their mom that is unbeatable.  Nay.....UNBREAKABLE!  

I said confidently...."You're right Mama!  You and I will be friends forever!  BEST FRIENDS!  Super Polish sisters!  We will never leave each other's side........"

I looked over at Mama, who had already left my side to go play with the kids.

Oh well.

At least she's tied to me because of the grand-kids.   

She's mine forever.....MOU HAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!


My fashionable Mama.  Playing at a kid's park with my sister.  Because that's how she rolls..... :)

Monday, 3 April 2017

Mama, and her friends.

If you know me personally, then you most probably have met Mama, my hilarious and outrageous Polish mother.

If you have never had the pleasure of meeting her, then you most certainly have heard about her through my blog.  I very often insert comments about her endless advice, her fashionable style and of course, her hot red sports car.  

Since I was little, I always thought Mama was fabulous.  Not only did she look like a star, but she was by far the funniest woman I ever knew.  She always had ridiculous stories, outrageous theories, and punch lines that she could never remember.....which made the joke all the more funny.

And she was always the one to come waltzing down the stairs at our family parties dressed up as some gypsy goddess, covered in jewellery, and putting on the most hilarious show with her brother-in-law for all of us to watch and laugh.  And we did.

With an energy so contagious, it should come as no surprise to you that Mama seems to attract people to her all the time.

She is always meeting somebody new, and during our daily phone calls, she tells me her "new friend" stories.  But they are always so random and so all over the place that by the end, I always end up totally confused.

For example,

....and don't forget the Polish accent..... 

"You know, I vent to take my car for a car vash today, because remember dat storm de odder day?  Remember all da slush??  Vell of course I had to drive into da biggest puddle you have EVER SEEN!  I vas so mad.  Anyways.  I took my car to Shell. Or vas it Petro Canada?  No. Shell. Because I had coupon for a free car vash.  Did you get dat coupon?  In da mail?  I got it last veek.  Go check your mail.  Ok.  So listen to dis.  I vas about to drive into da vash but I missed dat stupid ting you put your tires in.  You know, I don't tink dey design dose tings very well because you know how low my car is right?  It's not like your car.  You have no problem.  But my car, dat's a different story.  Anyways.  I finally got my tire in dat stoopid ting and I looked at da car driving out in front of me.  A lexus.  Remember dat voman I met 2 weeks ago at Vinners?  I told you about her husband who lost his arm in Germany.  He was der at da same time as your fadder.  1945. Can you IMAGINE?  Anyways.  So she was in da kid's section and ve started talking because she has a grand-daughter who is 6.  Like Lola! Vat a coincidence! And den she told me about her Lexus and how she got into a car crash and dis guy scratched da whole back of her new car!  Can you IMAGINE?  So anyways, I see dis Lexus in front of me, vit a scratch and I knew it vas her.  I knew it!!  So after we were out of da vash, she was vacuuming her car and obviously I needed to vacuum too because of dis stoopid vedder. My whole carpet is covered in salt.  I don't even tink you can get dat out?  Can you?  Anyways.  So I get out and I say "Joanna.  Is dis you?"  But I already KNEW it was her!  (Mama starts laughing to herself). And dis voman turns around and yells "Jean!".  Ve laughed SO HARD!  Anyways.  Can you believe dis story? And dat I recognized her car?  Dis is really unbelievable you know."


I'm totally used to these stories. 

I hear them everyday.  

No joke.  


But if you are not used to this much detail, you are probably VERY over-whelmed with the number of facts that were thrown at you in one sitting.  So, please take a deep breath and take a moment to gather your thoughts.  Perhaps go meditate in a corner for a little bit.

I'll wait.


Ok.  You good?  


Let's continue.  

In a nutshell, Mama meets people everyday and everywhere.  People love her, they want to be her, and they want to be with her. 

Now, normally I am very happy for my mom and her new relationships.  

But lately, Mama has made 2 friends that she seems to be talking about more and more everyday.

It started off small (like the above paragraph), but now the stories were getting longer, and the focus was only on 2 friends.

As she went on and on the other day about Jessie and Veronica, I started feeling something.  A weird tingling in my belly.  A feeling of unease and confusion.....

What was going on?? 

And then, I realized what it was.



To be continued..........

Monday, 27 March 2017

You know......cause I'm sick.

So I wanted to start off this blog by giving someone a round of applause.  

A single mom who NEVER puts herself first.  Someone who works a full-time job and then races home (never making ANY pit-stops between work and the house) and then spending the next few hours focused completely on her 2 children until they go to sleep.  Someone who stays up late cutting up stupid vegetables for her kid's school snacks even though all she wants to do is watch re-runs of Sex and the City and drink red wine.

Aaaannnnnddd..... someone who recently performed the unthinkable.  

She managed to spend every single day of the March Break with her children without once crying, losing her head or throwing a temper tantrum.

Only a SAINT could do such a thing.

This "someone" that I am referring to is of course :) 

(Everyone jumps up and gives a huge round of applause while screaming "YOU'RE THE BEST RIDICULOUS GIRL!!"  and "YOU SET PARENTAL STANDARDS SO HIGH!"  aaannnddd...... "YOU'RE ALSO SOOOOO BEAUTIFUL!!!")

Awww geeze!  Thanks guys!!!!  I really appreciate that!!

But in all seriousness, I ....and EVERY OTHER PARENT OUT THERE....deserves MORE than a round of applause for surviving March Break.  

March Break is absolutely ridiculous.  

The expectation on parents to try and juggle getting out of work in order to take your children on new, educational and super-fun trips during the week where there is no school and no breaks in the day, well...... it's almost a complete impossibility.  

And yet, somehow I did it.  

Once the week was finally over, I felt like I had run a goddam marathon........with 2 kids attached to each of my legs......while trying to balance a tray of veggies......all while listening to a song on repeat entitled "MOMMY!  CAN I HAVE ANOTHER SNACK??"

Once March Break was over, and the kids had FINALLY gone back to school, I immediately began looking forward to the following weekend when the kids would be with their dad and I would be alone. And I excitedly planned numerous fun activities, all for ME.  Because gosh darn it, I was a single mom, I was over-worked and well......because I just plain deserved it!! 

But the week progressed, I noticed a slight scratchiness in my throat.  


That's weird.  Don't wanna get sick.  I'd better up my green smoothie intake immediately.

By Wednesday, I started coughing. 


I quickly shuffled through my purse to find my stash of Polish eucalyptus candies.  I ate 10 right away, to stifle any possibility of a sore throat attacking me.

(By the way, you can NEVER have TOO MANY Polish eucalyptus candies.  Write that down.)

By the end of the work day on Friday, I had developed the worst migraine of my life.  And I knew that my worst fear for my weekend alone was coming to life.............sickness was pillaging my body :(  

I was bent over at my desk with my head on my keyboard groaning out loud for attention.

Most of the doctors that I work for just looked at me and kept walking.   So obviously I groaned louder.  

Finally my groaning and whining was effective in scoring me a 5-minute neck massage from one of our staff nurses.  (Great Success!)

But sadly, the neck massage did little to ease my poor little head's pain.

And the rest of my Friday (the first day of my fabulous weekend) was spent on the couch watching re-runs of Sex and the City, instead of getting together with a friend.

By Saturday morning, and after 12 hours of sleep, I was no better.  But I REFUSED to let this sickness destroy my weekend.  So I forced myself to have a very healthy breakfast of bacon, eggs and french toast along with 3 cups of coffee.  

I know what you're thinking.  

Why did I skimp on the coffee??  I know, I know, but I didn't want to over-do it when I wasn't feeling well.  

Anyway, I was feeling so congested, so dizzy and so weak, but I would NOT let this sickness get in the way of my routine.  So by 11am I was stretching out my legs on my mat, getting ready for my Saturday yoga class.  

Mary, the instructor, was a bit intense, so I decided to opt out of all of the plank poses.  You know......because of my sickness and all.  I also chose not to do the push-up part of the class.......once again, because I was sick.  And as the class came to an end and everyone stayed in seated position, I chose to lie down and cover myself up with a blankie and place a savasana lavender eye pillow over my eyes.  

Because I was sick.  

(Now, I should probably mention to you that I do all of these things in EVERY yoga class I go to.....but this time I REALLY HAD TO.  You know.....because of my sickness).

Anyway, I felt much better after my yoga class, but still very "sickly".   So I treated myself to some organic, home-made soups from Goodness Me.

As I stood in line waiting for the cashier, I thought Ugh, being sick is the WORST!  Life is SO hard.

Once I got to the cashier, I felt my throat tingling again, so I thought it best not to speak.  You conserve my voice.

The cashier said hello in a very chipper voice, and I in turn, coughed quietly and then pointed to my throat.  I mouthed the words I CAN'T SPEAK.  (I mean, I guess I could have.....but I didn't want to over-do it) 

"Oh you POOR THING!!" she squealed, "Well, I hope these soups make you feel better!"

I gave her a small smile and a thumbs up and went on my way.

It was SO hard being sick!

That afternoon I ate my soups and watched the 5th season of GIRLS.   But even Hannah's crazy outfits and awkward body (which is naked WAY too often in that show) didn't make me feel better.   And as the evening approached, I knew it was time to cancel the dinner date and friend's birthday party that I had planned on attending that night :(

And I stopped for a second to analyze things (as I very often did).  And I suddenly felt very angry.  For I knew that all of my hard work and planning for my daughter's March Break would not be rewarded..... because instead of having fun and hanging out with my friends, I was home. 

Stuck on the couch.  

And sick.

It was honestly the WORST!  

I was so frustrated.  

But there was nothing I could do about it!

So I decided not to agonize over my misfortune anymore, and instead I got dressed into my comfiest and coziest pjs, turned on my diffuser (filled with the glorious scents of lemongrass, tea tree and cloves) and climbed into bed to read my book.

After a second night of 12 hours of sleep (possibly 13....but who's counting), I treated myself to another healthy breakfast. This time pancakes and sausages.  

I mean, I was I REALLY needed to make sure I had tons of carbs and protein to fuel my body back into health.   

But despite my poor health, I still made it to church for 10:30am.  I mean, I needed God to see that I still made an effort.  And let's be honest, Mama would definitely have something to say if I didn't go ("Vel.....all you haf to know is dat God is vatching you.")

Church was excellent, as it always is.  The pastor was focusing on "stress" and gave numerous tips on how to live life happier and more stress-free.  I pulled out my fuzzy pink pen and jotted down some notes in my gold day-planner......along with a couple of hearts and flowers with happy faces.

By Sunday afternoon, I was back on my couch, coughing and sneezing and generally feeling like poop.  

By Sunday evening, I happened upon a delightful movie Julie & Julia which I had never seen before.  I sat mesmerized watching Julia sip a lovely glass of red wine as she cooked and laughed with her friends in Paris (you pronounce it like this "PAAAWW-REEEE"), and I thought how lovely it would be to also have a glass of red wine.  

But then I remembered that I was sick.  

And that red wine has tannins or something in it, that make it very bad for your sinuses and end up giving you a super bad headache the next day.

So I passed on the red wine.

And had white instead :)

By Monday morning I was back at work.  And VERY depressed that I had wasted a weekend alone.

When my coworkers asked what I did over the past few days, I sighed,

"Ugh.  It was the WORST!  I was super sick, so I REALLY had to take care of myself.  So I watched tons of movies, did a yoga class, ate home-made organic soup, went to church (where I learned tips on how to de-stress my life), watched more movies, drank wine, ate massive breakfasts, smelled scents from my new diffuser and wore pjs for 3 days straight."

My coworkers all stood there in silence with their mouths open.

I waited for them to feel sorry for know......cause I was so sick.

But instead Tracey finally spoke up and said..... "That's literally my dream weekend.  I think I'm going to tell my husband that I'm sick next weekend".

I turned back to my computer.............. and smiled.  

And I suddenly thought......isn't that funny?

After the most insane and busy March Break of my life, perhaps I WAS rewarded with the weekend that I needed??  

And maybe, all that I needed was time for myself?  


Sometimes the universe kicks your ass.  

But SOMETIMES it rewards you in the strangest ways afterwards.

And you don't even realize it until someone else makes you very aware of it.

All I know is that now, after that weekend, I feel relaxed and healthy and calm.

And I am VERY appreciative of my weekend alone in peace and solitude :)

But at the end of the day, let's be perfectly honest about one thing....... 

Anything that can get me out of push-ups and planks during my Saturday yoga class will always end up being a winning weekend for me!