The next 20 Ridiculous Facts about this Ridiculous Girl.
61. After a summer long visit to Poland when I was a kid, I forgot all of my English. One afternoon, after we got back to Canada, Mama overheard me trying to talk to some kids in Polish on my street. I soon became the laughing stock of our neighborhood :(
But don't feel bad, eventually I learned English again.
62. But....I'm pretty sure that's why, to this day, I continue to mess up common English sayings. For example, instead of saying "Not the sharpest tool in the shed", I will say "He's like, not the sharpest pencil.....no wait....nail?....in the .......toolbox?? Oh forget it! Sayings are stupid."
63. I'm extremely claustrophobic. Once my kid tried to go down a tube slide at an indoor play park, but once she got to the top, she was too scared to go down. I had to go up and rescue her. It didn't go well. Let's just say that the kid got down fine.....and then a call had to be placed to the local Fire-hall :/
64. I'm not really a perfume girl, but when Queen Gwen came out with her new L.A.M.B. perfume, I immediately went and bought it. Unfortunately, I broke out in a serious rash every-time I wore it. But of course that didn't stop me from wearing it religiously everyday. So for the years 2007-2009 I had red bumpy skin all over my neck and wrists.
Hey....you have to suffer for beauty right??
65. I can't say the word "request". It always comes out as "weh-quest" or "re-qrest".
66. I can burp like a trucker.
67. I hate close talkers. They're almost as bad as lingerers. Ughhh...lingerers.....
68. In Poland, an hour after breakfast, everyone sits down to the kitchen table again to have coffee and cake. I think this is the best tradition EVER. And I have decided to share it with all of you by bringing this wonderful tradition to Canada. You may start it tomorrow.
69. I can't talk and drive at the same time. While driving and telling a story, my foot will just start to come off the gas pedal?? Recently, all of my friends and family have noticed this and have asked why I am driving 30 kms/hr in a 70 zone.
I personally don't think they should complain.
I mean....they ARE getting treated to fabulous stories by THE Ridiculous Girl. Let's not get greedy ok?? You can't have everything you want in life.
Write that down.
70. When it's movie night at our house, I always try to coax my kids into watching movies that I like.
Kid: "Mommy, can we watch Frozen??"
Me: "OR....we can watch FINDING NEMOOOOO!!!??? YAYYYY!!!!!!"
71. I love baths. And I love putting stuff INTO my bath. In the past year, I've experimented with mineral oil, olive oil and epsom salts. I'm pretty much a chicken cooking in a giant pot of soup :/
72. When I was 14, I convinced myself that I would actually marry Jordan Knight from New Kids on the Block. Looking at him now, he's still pretty damn cute.
Too bad he got rid of the rat tail.
73. I'm not scared of the dark. At all. In fact, a few years ago I walked into the middle of the forest at our cottage at night. I'm not sure why??
But, that's when the aliens came.....
74. I'm a huge advocate of green smoothies. I drink almost 2 liters a day. But......I'm also a huge advocate of Mars bars.
75. Once, while play-fighting with Molly, I lost an eyebrow. I found it imprinted on her arm 3 hours later.
76. I love to leave creepy voice messages on my friends answering machines. "pickup pickup pickup pickup pickup pickup pickup pickup pickup pickup..."
77. When my brother was going through med school, and before we had cell phones, I used to write long letters to him. I used to write them in "Choose Your Own Adventure" style.
Les, Did I tell you that we got a new cat? If YES, then skip to page 3, if NO, continue reading...
78. I have 20-20 vision. I feel like that's important for you to know.
79. I don't believe in werewolves. I just believe in me.
80. When I was a teenager, my dad let me take our family boat for a ride. It was my first time driving the boat by myself. I took my sister and my cousin with me. We anchored the boat in the middle of the lake. My sister and I suntanned while our cousin read her book. All was fine and dandy until an alarm started blaring from the engine. Naturally I assumed this meant that the boat was going to blow up. I screamed "EVERYBODY JUMP!!!" and within seconds we were all overboard. My cousin jumped out so quickly that she jumped with her book.
My dad rescued us 10 minutes later. He showed up shaking his head with disappointment. Apparently the alarm goes off when you don't pull the key out of the ignition.
I think the moral of the story is that it's better to be safe than sorry. And when an alarm goes off.........just jump.
That's my take on the whole situation.
I am happy to report that my cousin's book was still intact. Poor thing swam for 10 minutes holding it over her head.
Now that's talent.