Sometimes I like to go back through my blog and read my old entries. I'm always curious to see which ones garnered the most attention from my readers.
This blog has sort of become a window into my life. A place where I can share my thoughts, ideas and daily happenings. And of course, it has become a place where I can document and have fun with every silly and ridiculous thing that seems to happen to me on a regular basis!
I'm sure it is no surprise to anyone that my "funny" blogs seem to get the most attention.
Everyone loves to laugh. Everyone NEEDS to laugh. And it is always my mission to bring happiness to those around me....no matter what is going on in my life, or with the rest of the world.
After the horrific events that took place in Ottawa last Wednesday, I so desperately wanted to write about something funny today. Replace some sadness with a bit of laughter and joy. But for some reason, I couldn't. Every time I start typing a joke or writing about a silly thing that happened to me, I was instead hit with an image of Cpl. Nathan Cirillo, or Sergeant Kevin Vickers, or the Highway of Heroes.
So instead of trying to fight my instincts, I decided to go with them... and I wrote what I needed to write about.
Last Wednesday, I was in pure Mommy-mode. I took my little Molly swimming, to the library, and to the park. At 2pm, I prepared a small snack while Molly played with her barbies. As she ate her apples and cheese, I finally had a quiet moment to check my computer and see what was happening in the real world......or rather the Facebook world. It was as close to real I was going to get that day.
The first status update I read was written by a very close friend, who is a paramedic, and was sharing her thoughts and sadness on the recommendation that uniformed soldiers go immediately home after work.
I was very confused. What was going on?
I quickly scanned the rest of the page. I felt a pit in my stomach as I pieced the days events together.
I put my phone down and said a prayer for the Soldier who was just shot at the War Memorial in Ottawa.
I can't describe the devastation I felt in that moment.....for that man...his family....and our nation.
The days following however, upset me even more.
For the next 5 days, Facebook was covered in theories, debates and opinions regarding the shooting and "why" it took place. I saw friends who were engaging in discussions trying to figure out whether Nathan Cirillo was in fact the victim of a terrorist attack or a gunman who was deranged and mentally unstable.
I also saw friends who were giving their own opinions on the members of ISIS and their threat on our country.
But I soon noticed that the discussions went from opinionated.....to just plain evil. One person's opinion sent another into pure rage, which resulted in one verbal attack after the other. Some of my friends handled the heated discussions with great humility and intellect, trying to get people to think out loud and work together to figure out what went wrong on Wednesday, October 22nd.
And then others .....just seemed to fuel the fire.
In a time when we should be bonding together, I saw people turning on each other. I saw innocent people being exposed and threatened to hatred against their culture and religious beliefs.
This was going too far.
I finally stopped reading the status updates and their replies, and I stopped reading the news, because I could no longer stomach the attacks which had become so hurtful, offensive and scarey.
I know that there will always be bad people in the world, people who want to control and hurt others. But in my heart, I believe that there are more good people.
This event has made me question many things in my life.
What can I do to help?
Can I make a difference?
Do I have ANY power to change things for the better?
I don't know the answer to those questions.
I really don't.
What I do know however, is that I have a very small avenue which I can use to make people smile.
My life, and my simple blog, can perhaps take people out of their daily routine for a few minutes and make them laugh....or even just smile.
Because if more people looked at each other and smiled, rather than looked at each other with hate....then maybe.....just maybe, we might be able to shift the world.
Just a little bit....
It may not stop some people from doing bad....but perhaps.....it will spread a little bit of joy and happiness....one person at a time. And maybe it will have a ripple effect? Who knows?
Perhaps that's all it takes.
And for our fallen, Cpl Nathan Cirillo, your smile will be a testament of peace for years to come.
You were a true hero.
Rest in peace.