Wednesday, 14 March 2018

Hot mess meditation.

I am a firm believer in the power of yoga.  

Being able to quiet my mind in a chaotic and busy world of work, children and just everyday life is an absolute necessity in maintaining my peace of mind and sense of self. 

So you can imagine that I jumped at the chance at taking my “mind-quieting” to a whole other level when my sister invited me to join her for my very first meditation class.

I was over the moon!  The sacred and energetic full moon that is……


On the day of my mindfulness journey, I met my sister at the studio, excited and ready to partake in absolute nothingness.

As we entered the meditation room, my sister stepped away to chat with some of her friends.  So I took that time to set up our mats and peruse the space..  It was small, warm and dim-lit.  VERY cozy.  Perfect for a morning of deep relaxation :) 

Once lined up in the room, everyones' yoga mats were practically touching.  It didn’t seem like there was an inch of space for another person.  So I assumed that the studio staff member knew what she was doing when she called out to the secretary,  “We can still fit one more!”.

As my sister and I stretched and whispered-chatted to one another about her previous meditation experiences, I noticed one more woman come in.  She quietly unrolled her yoga mat, lied down and closed her eyes. 

There, the room was full now!  I’m sure we would begin any minute.  So I crossed my legs, placed my hands on my knees, closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

I felt such peace.  This was EXACTLY what I needed after a long and busy week.  I needed to be AWAY from real life! And this was the perfect place.  Quiet and serene.

I took an even deeper breath, this time along with a super loud exhale.  This way my neighboring yoga mat friends would think that I was an expert in meditation.  Because even though I’m a self-admitted “hot mess”, I didn’t want anyone ELSE to think that.

I exhaled one more time, releasing all of my stress from the week before.   I was about to get into my meditation zone when suddenly the door whipped open.

A very loud and rambunctious woman stormed into the room.  She look incredibly disheveled.  Her reddish-brown hair was wild and curly, her outfit was baggy and stained and she ran across the room in a panic holding her yoga mat which was starting to unravel under her arms.  

Now SHE was a hot mess!

The secretary called out after her “Ma’am! The class is full already!”  But hot mess didn’t listen.  She just kept scrambling around us muttering “I need to do this class….”

She stepped over several people and tried to unroll her mat into several ‘impossible to squeeze into’ spots.  We all sat quietly yet impatiently watching her and wondering what her next move would be.

I looked at my sister and rolled my eyes.

This was SO not pre-meditation behavior.  This woman had me all shaken up!  Now I would have to exhale loudly like 4 more times to get back to my calm zen space.  Ughhhhh…..

The secretary politely asked the woman to come back to the office to talk.

I would NOT have been polite.  

I would’ve been like, “Hey! Crazy Pants!!  Your CHI is messin’ us all up!  Get outta here!!”

But regardless of how this woman was escorted, the door closed yet again and we were finally back to our quiet pre-meditation.


It was then that our Yogi ever-so-silently entered the room.  He smiled at each of us, sharing his incredible calm energy, as he took his place at the front of the class.  He then sat down and introduced himself.  Hae Kwang Sunim was his name. 

Ooooohhhhh, his name was SO fancy!

This guy was super cool.  His aura was excellent too.  And I would know because I know aura’s.

His flowy long shirt was also amazing.  

Based on his appearance alone, I just knew that this class would be incredible! 

Sunim began speaking and we were all peacefully listening when suddenly hot mess barged in again!? 

Oh for the love of Sunim!!! 

What was she doing here again??

The secretary ran over to the Yogi and whispered something to him.  She looked frustrated.  He closed his eyes (in true yogi fashion), lifted his hand up to her as if to say “it’s ok, I got this” and he motioned for hot mess to come in.

He pointed to a small spot at the very front of the room next to him and then peacefully smiled at her.

Hot mess muttered thank you over and over again and then proceeded to set up her space.

For the next 5 minutes, as Sunim spoke to all of us, we all tried to get back into our own personal zen.

I closed my eyes, dropped my chin to my chest and inhaled and exhaled loudly again.

But I couldn’t relax, because hot mess kept making noises.  She kept shuffling, rifling through her purse and coughing. 

So help me God if this annoying woman brought her flu into my meditation bubble!  I'll be so pissed!!

But after another minute she got settled and stopped coughing. 


But I was wrong.  

It was then that I heard whimpering.  

OMG, don’t even tell me…….

Without lifting my head, I opened my eyes and looked at her.  Hot mess had started crying.

What now????

Normally I would feel bad for someone if they started crying around me but this was just too much!  Hot mess CLEARLY needed to go home and watch This is Us while downing a bottle of wine and a bag of Doritos.  

Sunim looked over at her and quietly asked if she was ok.

She nodded, and then blew her nose loudly into a Kleenex.

I looked over at my sister and mouthed the words “Oh Brother……”

Sunim then began the class.

And I wasn’t sure if this meditation was going to take me to a land of peace and tranquility or to the land of ultimate chaos.

To be continued……

Thursday, 22 February 2018

Ridiculous Girl gets in FOCUS!

It is said that 50 is the new 40 and 40 is the new 30.

It is also said that once you hit 40,  everything goes downhill.... like your looks and your health.

So who am I to believe?

Well, if you know anything about this Ridiculous Girl, then you know that I live in a world where I don’t age, I don’t wrinkle and I only get more youthful and beautiful with time :) 

So, in essence, I live in a state of complete and utter delusion. 

That all being said, I am obviously a firm believer in statement number 1.  That 40 is the new 30.   

Possibly even younger. 

25 even.

But you can imagine what a huge shock it was to me when I actually did notice some, albeit minute, signs of aging.  The odd wrinkle here and there, the cricking and cracking of my joints, and last but not least, my eyesight.  Or rather, the lack of it.

That one I didn’t see right away, pun intended.  In fact, it was a coworker who brought it to my attention when he walked by my computer and started laughing. 

“Leo, why are your icons so huge??”

I cocked my head to the side, looked at my screen and furrowed my brow.  Hmmmm, I guess they were slightly larger than everyone else’s?  But I only increased the size because that made it easier for me to rea…… ……….GASP!!!

I was losing my eyesight!

It suddenly occurred to me how many adjustments I had made recently in order to see better. 

Increasing the apps and fonts on my cell, turning on lights everywhere I went, leaning in closer to my computer while typing, and constantly squinting.

I then recalled Molly’s comments while I read a book to her the other night,

“Mommy, why iz de book so close to yo face??  I can’t see any-fing!  Pull it BACK!”

But even with all of these realizations, I still refused to believe that this recent lack of eyesight was an age thing.  I’m sure it was merely a coincidence.

But that didn’t stop my friends from trying to convince me otherwise.

How old are you?  41?  Oh yeah, it’s just going to get WAY worse honey!

It’s all going downhill from here sister!

Oh, just wait for the sudden and random weight gain!  That’s fun! (accompanied by a massive eye roll)

Well, obviously I did what any 40-something year old would do when she is being given advice from her older and wiser friends. 

I turned around, rolled my eyes, and walked away.

I REFUSED to believe that my body would start to give up on me as I aged?  Gimme a break!?  I have treated my body like a temple!  With love and respect my whole life.  Surely it would pay me back with youth and longevity!  

And let us not forget the endless cups of coffee I have consumed over the past 40 years?  Everyone knows that coffee increases your lifespan.  I mean, duh!

But alas, whether I liked it or not, I still had to deal with the problem of my blurry vision, endless squinting and getting yelled at by Molly during bedtime reading.

So off to the optometrist I went.


My appointment was very boring.

Lots of “look here”, “turn your head”, and “what does that say?”.  I went through the motions like a good student though.  But I did protest when a sudden burst of air was shot into my eyeball.  That was NOT cool  >:(   

At the end of my exam the optometrist read me my results.  I was REALLY hoping that she would say that my eyesight was still 20-20, just as it has been for the past 40 years.

But with all of my recent eyesight troubles, I knew that wasn’t the case, and I unenthusiastically listened as she told me that I needed prescriptions for long-distance driving and also for the computer and reading.

I sighed.  

She tried to cheer me up by telling me that my eyes were actually very healthy for my age and that my prescriptions were incredibly mild. 

But I was still sad as I followed her into the glasses showroom.

I pictured myself looking like my Dad in the 70’s, with huge round-rimmed gold glasses, with a lense window etched out in the centre.  Blech!!!

But when I stepped into the other room, I was blown away. 


The eyewear was sooooooo beautiful!!  

The crystals, the sparkles, the patterns!!  

Everything looked so fancy and shiny!!

I threw my purse on the floor and ran to the glasses.  Within seconds I had a pair on my face, and 5 more in my hand.

I spent the next hour trying on every single pair in the store as the optometrist's assistant happily watched.

As I was trying on pair #52, she said, "Wow! You're lucky! You look great in EVERY single pair!"

I blushed and said, "Oh stop.  No I don't!"

But as I looked back in the mirror again, and saw my reflection with a gorgeous pair of black and white square-rimmed glasses, I changed my tune.  

I DID look great in glasses!  She was absolutely right.  I looked FABULOUS!

Why had I never thought of wearing glasses before??  They were the perfect accessory for me!  

As I skipped out of the store with my new prescriptions, all I could think was how good my new accessory would look paired with a hot, red lipstick.....


That night I smiled as I gently placed my glasses in their beautiful glasses case on my nightstand.

And I then thought to myself.

Getting older isn't that bad!

As long as I can continue to decorate myself with new sparkly accessories.... I'll be TOTALLY happy...... and still useful to society :)

Just WAIT until you see my future walker!  


Wednesday, 7 February 2018

The pretty boy has fallen.

Sunday night, as I’m sure most of you know, was the 52nd Superbowl Championship. 

Wait…….I wrote 52nd wrong.  Let me correct that for you: 

The “LII” Superbowl Championship.    (So dumb. Who uses Roman numerals anymore??)

Anyway, as I’ve written before in a past blog (which no doubt you’ve read), I am not a die-hard football fan.  But when it comes to the Superbowl, I never miss a single game. 

And no, it’s not just the Superbowl parties that have me hooked….. even though they really are truly delightful with their traditional foods in football-shaped buns. 

But no, it’s really not about the delicious foods.  Or even the good company. 

It’s about the energy and the excitement of the match.  It draws you in.  It’s palpable.

For the last 2 hours of the epic game, I sat on the edge of my seat watching as the Patriots and the Eagles battled it out for the title of the championship.

Now because I am not your typical football fan, I never watch the game hoping for a particular winner. Like I said, I just watch for the thrill of the game.

But I have to admit that the little knowledge that I do have of the sport, and from having diligently watched past Superbowls, I already knew that Tom Brady was the man to watch that night.

Would he succeed in winning a 6th Superbowl title??

For most of the game, the Patriots were losing.  

Or....were they just waiting to strike??  

Would this be a repeat of last year, with another huge comeback win?

Well, it appeared it could be just I watched their quarterback bring the team back to a lead in the 4th quarter,  33-32.

I was almost certain now that the game would end the same as last year's Patriot championship, with a win for Brady in the last few minutes of the game.

But after a questionable play by Eagle’s Zach Ertz, which after review was deemed a successful run, the Eagles had once again established their dominance with a 38-33 lead.

But we all know “it ain’t over til it’s over" right?  And we watched with great anticipation to see if the alleged “greatest quarterback of all time” could turn things around.

Until….. the unforeseeable happened.

Brady got sacked.


The ball was stripped out of his hand by Eagles’ defenseman Brandon Graham.  It happened so fast that the quarterback didn’t even realize it was missing, and continued throwing an empty hand through the air.  The look on his face was pure confusion and disbelief as he finally connected with the reality of what had just happened.

It seemed as though their golden ticket player couldn’t recover what would eventually be an inevitable loss.

And trust me…...we were waiting….. and watching…. in extreme anticipation……until the very end, when Tom threw a Hail Mary pass to the endzone in the last 9 seconds of the game. 

But to no avail.

The underdog had won.


I ran into work on Monday morning (as I did EVERY morning after a Superbowl) yelling randomly to my co-workers,  “Did you watch the game??”  “Wasn’t it amazing??” “Weren’t you on the edge of your seat the WHOLE time???”

But most of the people who I spoke to just haphazardly answered with an “I don’t like football” or “I just watched the half-time show” or “I don’t have cable”.   
Don’t even get me started on that last one.  I still don’t understand how can one live without cable??

Anyways, regardless of what they answered, I just went on and on about how much I loved the game.  

Until someone asked me a very simple question.

“So were you happy that the Eagles won?”

When I told this person that I didn’t care who won, and that I wasn’t even a huge football fan, he asked me one more question as he walked away laughing,

“So why watch the game if you’re not invested at all??”

I stood there silently staring at him as he walked away.


That was a VERY GOOD question.  

I initially thought I didn’t care who won.   After all, wasn’t it possible to just enjoy a game without having any personal attachment to the players or to the game itself?

But then if I really felt that, then why was I so intrigued with it all?

And if I was intrigued, then I MUST have had some sort of investment.  Because I couldn’t possibly be this excited about something if I didn’t care about it…….right??

When I got back to my desk at work, I focused on what was really important. 

No, not work silly!  

The game!  

I thought about what Philadelphia's team must have been feeling during the match and after their win. The adrenalin rush, the fight, the victory, and finally, the relief. 

They had done the unthinkable.

They had finally taken down pretty boy Tom Brady from his (albeit well-deserved) podium seat at the top of the league.

What an incredible high that must have been??  To take down a team that was a sure-fire win. 

I was ecstatic for them.  

But I still don't really know why?

Maybe it's as simple as me wanting to see the underdog win.

After all, don't we ALL feel like the underdog sometimes?? 

Well, the Eagles finally did it.  They finally won the Superbowl.

And they gave us all hope.  

That anything is possible.  And that sometimes, when you bust your ass, you can rattle the Patriot......and eventually knock him right off the scoreboard.

And just like the ball that slipped out of Brady’s fingertips, so did his 6th Superbowl win.  

And the Eagles soared to the finish.

Congratulations underdogs.  You finally made it over ;) 

Here's another Ridiculous Girl Superbowl blog:


Thursday, 25 January 2018

The Treetop Games. May the odds be ever in your favour.

When it comes to your birthday, some people like to celebrate and others do not.

When it comes to MY birthday, I like to shout it from the rooftops……OR from the top of the CN Tower.  Which is exactly the location that Handsome Guy booked for my special day when I rang in my 40th.

This year, I wanted to give him a birthday gift that I knew he would really enjoy – because what better way to show your love for somebody then to spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars on them!  I think it was Deepak Chopra who said that?

Anyway, after a bit of searching, I stumbled upon Tree Top Trekking.  A fun day of zip-lining and walking across suspended bridges high up in the trees.  It was the perfect day of adventure for us, because we both loved excitement, we both loved the outdoors, and we both loved any excuse to try our new sparkle all day face mist which protected your makeup from the elements and dry heat.

Ok, maybe that last one was just me, but you get the jist.

On the day of our adventure, we arrived ready to enjoy a peaceful day in nature.

Or so I thought.

While we sat all relaxed at the picnic table waiting to be called for our turn, I noticed that the other attendees around us were very intense.

They were double and triple checking the fastenings on their backpacks, ensuring that they had brought enough water bottles, counting the number of protein bars they packed, and making sure their cell phones were properly zipped away in their fanny packs.

I was very confused by their quick and squirrely-like actions.

First of all, why did they have backpacks?  
Second of all, who needs protein bars?  This thing would probably only last a couple of hours.   In fact, Handsome Guy and I were looking forward to a lovely sushi lunch right after.  


Thirdly, who the heck still wears a fanny pack??

My confusion was interrupted when a TreeTop Trekker instructor called us for Training.

Training?  I thought.

Training for what?  For walking on suspended bridges….??

I looked over at Handsome Guy even more confused than before.  But he wasn’t fazed.  He just smiled eagerly, grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the training location as I reluctantly followed.

My confusion soon turned to nervousness as the trainer handed us each a very heavy and complicated harness and instructed us to put it on.  As she came over to each of us, one by one, to check if we had attached everything correctly, she continued with her instructions.  She used words like, “you must NEVER unsnap your harness….”, and “you could fall out of a 40 foot tree…..” and “you could be asked to leave..…..”.

Ummm, what in God’s name was happening here?

Here I was wanting a romantic and peaceful walk in the trees with my guy, and turns out I was signing up for possible death??  Or worse yet..... an embarrassing walk out by Trudy the instructor!?

I tried so very hard to keep my cool, but deep down inside, I was having a full on panic attack.

I had a feeling that my fun and relaxing afternoon would be now be filled with activity, challenges, and dare I say it…..exercise!

This was NOT what I signed up for.

Before we started our treetop trekking adventure, on my last training test, just 4 feet off of the ground,  and in front of the whole training group, my foot slipped and scraped against the thick metal suspension rope.  I hung from my harness like a Goddam fool with a bloody and scraped shin. 

And that was just the beginning folks.

Now, the real test would begin……..20 feet up in the air.


There were 5 parts to this treetop adventure.  They were coded by colour.  And each colour coded section was called a “game”. 

The first game wasn’t too bad.  It consisted of a series of long and wiggly bridges, spanning anywhere from 20 to 40 feet between trees.   Some of them had challenges like suspended tires that you had to climb through, all while keeping your balance.

I passed the first level.

The second game was slightly harder but somehow still manageable for someone like me who avoids exercise and activity at all costs.  I was actually impressed with my skill and tactic in figuring out how to get from one tree to the next without dying.  

Near the end of it, I smiled and thought, Hey, this thing may not be so bad after all!  

I think the universe liked that comment, because at the next tree, I was treated to a lovely and long zipline down to the end of game 2.

Weeeeeeeeeeeee!! :) 

It was at this point that Handsome Guy and I decided to break for drinks and snacks. Oh, but wait, we didn’t bring any (insert eye roll here).   Luckily we found a small protein bar in his car, which we shared like 2 little chipmunks.  And as for water, we finished off the half of a bottle which I originally wasn’t even going to bring (insert yet another eye roll here).

We had finished our 1/2 a snack and 1/2 a drink (literally, 30 seconds later), and made our way to the base of Game 3 where one of the instructors said to us in a very hyped up voice;

“Hey guys! I’ve been watching you on the first couple of games and you’re both doing amazing!  Now.... we don’t let everyone advance to the next levels if we don’t think they’re ready, but you guys are killing it!!  Can’t wait to see how you do on game red!  Good luck!”

I smiled at hyped-up-guy and tried to look excited.

On one hand I was a teeny-tiny bit proud of myself for making it this far.  

On the other hand, I was very nervous about the next game.

I wasn’t sure I could do anything any more challenging than I had already accomplished.  Not to mention, the height of the trees was increasing with each game….so not only would this game be more challenging, but also a little bit scary.

As I reluctantly proceeded to game red, I overheard two girls talking......

"Someone just told me that there's a rope swing on one of the games.  And it's like 30 feet above ground.  There's no way I'm doing that game!!"

I thought to myself, a rope swing??

Oh, hells to the NO!!  

I was TERRIFIED of rope swings.  

Just the thought of a rope swing reminded me of that horrific day when I attempted one at a friend's cottage when I was 20 years old.   As the rope catapulted me towards the lake, I couldn't hang on, and nearly killed myself by letting go too soon just missing all of the rocks on the shore below.  I'll never forget the look of sheer horror on my friend's faces as I almost fell to my death.  I would definitely be avoiding that game!

Game red was just as I thought it would be.  Incredibly challenging. 

But I was slowly but surely making my way through it...........until........I saw it.

The rope swing.

I quickly turned around.  There was a group of 4 people following right behind us.  There was no turning back now.

Handsome Guy then saw the panic on my face.  

"Babe, I know you're scared, but you can do this.  I'll go first and I'll catch you on the other side ok??"

I nodded slowly.  I'm sure I looked like I was going to cry.  Or vomit.  Or both.

He grabbed the rope and swung over with ease.

Then he swung the rope back to me.  I caught it with shaky hands.

I debated.  

I could wimp out and call down to the instructors to rescue me while everyone watched.


I could just do it.

I decided not to think about it any longer.  

I took a deep breath, grabbed the rope, held on for dear life, and.......jumped.

A second later I was on the other side, and in Handsome Guy's arms.

"I knew you could do it!!"  he yelled as he pulled the rope out of my arms and kissed me.

I stood there in utter disbelief.  

Then I looked back at the tree that I had just jumped from.

And then I looked down at the instructor, on the ground 30 feet below me, who just smiled and gave me a thumbs up.

I did it?

I actually did it!


By the 4th and purple level, I was still scared, but determined.

Handsome Guy laughed at me as he noticed that I started coming up with my own rules on how to get through the trickiest part of the game.  Instead of climbing through the rings, I would unsnap my harness attachments and then re-attach them once I passed the ring.  I was very aware that I was doing this 40 feet above ground, and at points along the game, I was completely unattached. 

"Babe!!"  he yelled, "You're not supposed to do that!  You're going to get disqualified, or worse yet, fall out of the tree!!"  

"Brad.  I'm fine!" I yelled back, "Trust me!  This is EXACTLY how you're supposed to do it!"

But as I looked away from him, and unsnapped my harness for the 4th time, I smirked.

There was no way in HELL that this was the way I was supposed to be doing it.  But folks.....I was actually SURVIVING the Treetop Games!??  Sooo....I was kind of unstoppable at that moment.  And Handsome Guy knew that.

So he just laughed and shook his head as I weaved in and out of the hanging rings, unsnapping and re-snapping my harness.

I had passed level purple!!  


I am happy to report that I had completed the ENTIRE thing!  

I was smart, I was brave, and I was fearless throughout the whole adventure!!

And I had completed EVERY ....SINGLE....GAME.

Wellllllll...... except for the last one.  Level Black.

But that one was just stupid.

It was like......50 feet above ground and you had to have muscles in like, your armpits, to get through it.  

So, TOTALLY unreasonable, right!??

So for the last half hour of our adventure, I sat happily on a rock with my head in my hands watching as Handsome Guy completed the final level way, wayyyyy up in the sky.

And through the biggest smile, I let out a huge sigh.

I was completely content.  And SO proud of myself.  I did something that I never thought in a million years I would ever accomplish.

And even though I didn't make it ALL the way to the end..... it didn't really matter.  

Because when it came to the Treetop Games, I truly believe ................that the odds were ever in my favour ;)

The End :)