Game over.

Once Handsome Guy messaged me, that was it!  GAME ON!  

I was 100% hooked......for the second time.  

And I could not wait to see him again.  All of those butterflies in my stomach that I had the first time around came rushing back.


But ....as I shared my excitement with my family and friends, they didn't seem as supportive as I thought they would be.

"But babe, nothing's going to change", said my best friend, "You're still 2 hours away from each other and you still have impossible schedules. Where is this relationship going to go?"

I pouted to my best friend who just poured me another glass of red wine.   "But...." I answered meekly, "maybe it'll work out this time??  We're really good together hun..."  

She answered in a way that only a best friend could answer. Strong, yet supportive.

"Babe.  You always figure everything out.  So I know you'll figure this one out too.  I totally support you no matter what you decide". 

And with that, I chugged my red wine, and looked down at my cell which was exploding with cute texts from him.

I smiled at the thought of seeing Handsome Guy again, but I couldn't help but wonder, was my best friend right?  

Would things never change between us?  Was I walking into something that was just going to be a cyclical pattern of an impossible relationship??


But why couldn't things work between us?  

Wasn't there even the slightest possibility of the two of us figuring this out??  After all, we were both lovely and passionate people.  And also HILARIOUS.  That's a deadly combination folks!


Anyway....there was only one way to find out.  


I needed to see him again.  


And FAST!


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The night of our reunion, I was nervous. It reminded me of our first date.

I checked my hair 10 times.  I reapplied my lipstick 7 times, and I re-applied my Versace perfume about 5 times.  

By the way, you can NEVER put on enough perfume!  That whole "spritz and walk into the mist" thing...??  That's ridiculous.  I DIRECTLY sprayed perfume onto my neck, my wrists, my hair, my stomach and my chest.  I mean...what's the point of spending $100 on perfume if you're going to waste it by spraying it into the AIR?  That's just poor financial planning if you ask me.

Anyway, I also ran like a hyena between my bedroom mirror down to my front hallway mirror and then finally to my kitchen mirror to check how I looked, and I repeated this loop for about 20 minutes.......until I heard his car pull into my driveway.

GASP!!!

This was it!


It had been 8 LONG weeks since we had last seen each other, and luckily for me....I mean him ;)  we did not have to wait another second.


I ran to my door just as he walked in.  One glance... and one smile.... and we were goners.  

Not a word was exchanged between us. 

But once again my poor hallway and front door were exposed to yet another passionate reunion.  

It seemed like ages before either of us finally spoke, until he finally whispered,  "God I missed you...." which was soon followed by...."you smell AMAZING!"

And I just giggled.... 


See!??  I told you I knew how to apply perfume!!


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Later on that night, Handsome Guy suggested that we go and have dinner at the restaurant that we went to on our second date.  Very nostalgic and very romantic.  I was totally into this idea.

But even though I was back on cloud 9 with him, I kept getting a strange feeling in my stomach that something wasn't right.

So what does Ridiculous Girl do in this situation?  

Well, I momentarily ignored my feelings in order to stay on the high.  (By the way.... TOTALLY NOT what you should do!)  And I also told my feelings to "SHUTTY!" and at the next red light, I leaned over in his car, and grabbed his face and kissed him.......for a VERY long time.  And then I said to my feelings "TAKE THAT!"



We got to the restaurant and it was completely dark and empty.  And I wondered whether they had already closed for the evening.  But the hostess assured us that we were fine and they were still open.  She even joked that we had the restaurant to ourselves and then led us to a quiet candle-lit table in the corner.

Once we sat down and got cozy, Handsome Guy ordered steak and wine and charcuterie for us.  And over our incredible drinks and scrumptious dinner,  we talked and laughed and got all caught up.   It was just like old times.  Very reminiscent and extremely comfortable. It was so easy to fall for each other all over again in that setting.  

But even though everything seemed amazing,  I once again got that ugly feeling in the pit of my stomach.  

And this time I knew that my gut (and the universe) were desperately trying to tell me something.  

I wanted to ignore the feelings so badly, but I knew that I shouldn't.

I knew that even though Handsome Guy and I were a fabulous match on so many levels, there were things that we just couldn't make work.  And that's why we broke up in the first place.  

So why was I here again??

And then as if on cue, our hostess and waitress both came over and told us what a good-looking and great couple we were.  

We just looked at each other and smiled.

And again I thought to myself what a sick sense of humour the universe has.


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Falling asleep in his arms that night was just the best feeling, but waking up with him was even better. 

And just like old times, as I stayed in the shower a ridiculously long time, he went downstairs to the kitchen to get breakfast started.  And soon after, the delicious smell of bacon and eggs filled my home.


What was funny was how instantly we fell back into our old routine. 

On the outside, everything seemed SO perfect.  

But on the inside, I knew better.

And if we couldn't make things work long-term, then our perfect night, our perfect date, our perfect morning...... well, it just had to end, once and for all.

Because I couldn't be in a relationship that didn't work on all levels.

And although walking away from Handsome Guy would be the hardest thing I've done in a very long time, I knew it was the right thing to do. 



As we stood in the kitchen after breakfast staring at each other, me leaning against the counter and him standing near the fridge, he said quietly,  "So.....us getting together .....totally harmless right?"

I laughed sarcastically and said  "Yeah.... sure."



When it was time for him to leave, we kissed extra long.....one last time.... and then I watched him get into his car, and drive away.


And as I stood at my front door watching him leave, I whispered, "Bye Brad".


And then I started crying.



I not only cried because it was over, but I started crying because for the first time in a VERY LONG TIME, I had decided to do something that was healthy for me.  

And I hadn't done that in YEARS .  

And I walked away from a relationship that wasn't going anywhere. 

And even though I wanted to stay with him SO badly, I knew that I needed and I deserved more.




And as his car turned the corner, at the end of my street, and I saw him drive away, I finally closed my front door......


.....and ultimately closed the door to this chapter of my life.