As all Canadians know, our summers are very precious. Very, VERY precious. Most of us cherish and value the sun and heat, especially after a long and brutal winter like the one we just had.
I think back, only for a brief moment, to one morning when I walked the girls to school in a nasty blizzard in January. I came back home with my mascara running down my cheeks and my lips imprinted on my scarf. I looked like Tammy Fay Baker.
I quickly shake my head to get rid of that horrific image, and go back to drinking my coffee and staring out at the lake on one beautiful and sunny summer morning.
I have shared with you before my love of our family cottage and my need to go there to "ground" myself.
We spend as much time as we can at the cottage before the ugly cold weather sneaks up on us again. It is always a lovely getaway. Well......almost always.
Being at the cottage for a weekend with your 2 kids, mom and sister is a ridiculous adventure all on it's own.
It motivated me to share with you my next top 20. Cottage edition.
Enjoy :)
1. The drive to the cottage is a short 2 hours. The scenery is beautiful and breath-taking. It can be a lovely and calming drive. But add kids to the ride, and your drive is twice as long and extremely annoying. We stop 5 times for various reasons....kids need to pee, kids need to poo, kids need to eat, Molly's pillow falls, Monsters University stopped working, etc, etc. I look at my sister at one point who sighs out loud while staring out the window. Her hand is on the door. I'm afraid she might jump out.
2. We make yet another stop at Tim Hortons. Coffee and timbits are essential right now. Mishi and Lola get into an argument over which timbits are best .....chocolate glaze or powdered. This is a very serious debate between them. But obviously they're both wrong....timbit dutchies are BY FAR the best. Hands down. No question.
3. We finally arrive at the cottage. Molly has her first tantrum: her kiddie pool is not filled with water. I'm not sure if she assumed that the forest elves would do this for her while we were en route to the cottage? I never bothered asking her.
4. Our dog Bruce Lee (the most beautiful dog ever) is taunted by a tiny chipmunk. Bruce runs one way looking for him and the chippy runs the other way. At one point the chippy was eating nuts out of Lola's hand and Bruce ran right by them. I never said he was the "smartest" dog in the universe.....just the most beautiful.
5. There are mosquitoes everywhere. One sits on my sister's face. I smack it really hard. She yells at me. I yell back saying that I was trying to save her from malaria and then walk away. We don't realize until hours later that the mosquito carcass is still stuck on Mishi's face.
6. Molly has her second major tantrum. She wants to jump off the dock without a life jacket..!!?? Who does she think she is? Michael Phelps?
7. We go for a long boat ride. Ahhhhh....nice and relaxing. After a beautiful 1/2 hour drive all around the lake taking in the scenery, it's time to head home. We are parking at our dock when Bruce "the wonder-dog" decides he can make the 1/2 meter jump from the boat to the dock. He jumps. He doesn't make it. His front paws hit the dock, but his back end doesn't even come close. He is hanging on for dear life. I try to help him but his booty is too heavy to lift up. He was also blessed with Mommy's bootylicous body ;) He finally falls into the water and swims back to shore. I....on the other hand....am lying on the floor of the boat laughing so hard that tears are pouring down my face. Bruce walks away humiliated.
8. It's time for a drink (can you believe we still haven't had one yet???). I pour myself a lovely glass of red wine and head down to the dock. Mishi decides to go for a swim at the same time. She calls up to Mama, who is in the cottage, to throw down a clean towel for her. I take a sip of my wine and place it next to me on the dock. Ahhh.....life is good. And then suddenly..... SMASH!! Mama, without looking, threw the towel down to Mishi........and it landed directly on my glass of wine. The towel immediately soaked up the delicious liquid. Sigh. Mishi quickly grabs the towel and starts washing it by smacking it against a large rock. She laughs and says "Look at me washing this! It's like the old days!!" I cannot laugh. I'm too sad by what just happened.
9. Our outdoor patio set umbrella collapses on us during dinner. I am almost decapitated by the stupid thing. Mishi and Mama suddenly turn into the "Fix It Guys" and wire the whole thing together. It looks amazing. I am very proud of them. The only problem is that now the umbrella will stay permanently open. That's ok.....it's not like a giant storm and wind will come and take it away or anything....?
10. A giant storm and wind comes and takes the umbrella away :( We find the umbrella upside down in the middle of the forest. It is still perfectly intact and still open. Mama picks it up and yells "Help me! It might take me away like Mary Poo-ppins!"
11. The next morning, I overhear a conversation between Mishi and Molly. Molly picks up her fishing rod and says "Miti. I'm bettah den you". Mishi answers "Like, in fishing? Or in general? Molly replies "In dzeneral".
12. Lola finally figures out how to work her toy bow and arrow. We are very impressed with her posture and aim. Unfortunately, she becomes SO good that we lose the arrow somewhere. We find it 2 days later floating in the lake. We now refer to her as Katniss.
13. Bruce Lee continues to be taunted by the chippy. We name the chippy Alvin. Alvin runs in front of Bruce, does the "Macarena dance" and scampers off. And all we hear in the distance.....in a teeny, tiny chipmunk voice is "loserrrrrrrrr! hahahahahahaha!". Chipmunks are nasty creatures.
14. Each night we put Lola and Molly to bed. Lola in one bedroom and Molly in the other. Somehow I end up on the couch every night. As I'm falling asleep I think to myself, "How did I end up on the couch?? Am I in trouble?? When did this shift of power occur?? Well, at least it's quiet now." And then I hear thunder roll in. Sigh.......
15. One afternoon we notice that tons of boats are racing towards our bay. We all wonder what could be going on? Then we hear sirens. Shoot. There must be a fire somewhere! I...... determined to be the hero of the day, start running down our dirt road to find out what's going on. I get halfway down our long driveway but need to stop to take a breath. To be continued......
16. I finally catch my breath, stand up and continue running. I make it to the end of the road and realize it's much too far to run after the blaring sirens. When I make it back to my family, they are shocked as to why I'm breathing so hard. I tell them not to worry about it. We finally find out that it was just some nosy cottagers trying to get our mansion-cottage neighbor in trouble for burning a large fire on his property. Ahhh, gotta love neighborly disputes in cottage country eh??
17. Molly tantrum #3. We make Molly a roasted marshmallow, which she wanted. When we finally go to give it to her, she throws the marshmallow and the stick in the dirt and screams "I didn't want it WOAH-STED!!!!" I swear to God.........we will not survive these terrible twos.
18. Bruce Lee finally catches the chipmunk!! Pffft!! As if.
19. Mama and Mishi enjoy a vodka martini one night before bed. Mama keeps saying how it "really helped her stomach and dat's vy she had such a good sleep". Only a Polack would say something like this.
20. Our visit to the cottage is almost over. After all the shenanigans and chaos of the weekend, I decide to spend my last few hours alone with Lola. I take her to a place that I visited over and over as a kid. A place that brought me so much joy and so much excitement over the years. A place that challenged your fears.....and eventually conquered them. Lola once again impressed me with her confidence and courage.....and she did something that I would NEVER do at her age. At the count of 3......we jumped.......and we never looked back ;)
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