Skip to main content

THERE'S NO TIME!!!!!!!!!

I have not written in months....maybe a year.....I have completely lost track of time.  There's actually NO time to do anything.  I am sitting in here ugly sweats......my daughter's snot all over my shirt.......and wondering how to approach this day.
I have been a bit of a mess lately.  I look like a mess.  I feel like a mess.  I just AM  a mess.  Hey...I'm like Little Miss Messy....I read that book with my daughter last night!!!!!  I digress.  Ok.....so why am I mess you ask???  Well......I feel like I just can't get my s--t together!  I feel like my house and kids are controlling me and not the other way around.  And if you're a mom...you know what I'm talking about.  But like most moms....you suck it up...drink more coffee.....and keep on truckin' (or as my late dad would say "keep on plugging!!!")  But I can't!!!!!  I'm drained and I'm exhausted.  I look around the house and sooo much needs to be done....
I need to be inspired.  I need someone to kick my ass.  You know how people get writer's block???  I have.....Mommy's block!!!!!!
I got my hair done last week.  Cute little blonde shag (you know me and my blonde!!).  But it is currently un-washed....un-kept....and pinned back away from my face.  All wrinkles exposed to the world.  I couldn't be bothered.
So how are we supposed to stay motivated day after day???
I called my best friend last night....explain my dilemma between commercials of The Bachelorette
"BABE!"  she would say in a very asssertive way "I KNOW!!!  I feel the SAME way!!!!  How do women do this?????" 
We both take a sip of our wine.....she is drinking at her house...I...at mine.
"This is pure INSANITY!!" she continues.  "Dammit!!!" she lowers her voice to a whisper "urgh....HE'S still awake!!"  HE is her 3 and a 1/2 year old.  "Honestly....the hubby can deal with him!!!!  I'm done!!!!"
We both take another sip.
We decide to end our sob-fest and re-group in the morning with new ways to look and feel like the ultimate supermom.
I head outside to my garden oasis.  I have the most beautiful backyard.  I sit in my gazebo.....looking at all the stunning plants and trees around me.  I think...in 5 years....I will be completely surrounded with all this greenery.  I stop and listen to my waterfall.  The most serene sound.  And suddenly I am lost.  I feel like it will all be ok.  I take a couple deep breaths and laugh out loud at everything my toddler said today "Mommy!!!  why do you have short hair now???  I don't like it.  It should be long and beautiful!!!"  pffttt!!!!!  nice!!!  The one thing I do take solace in, is knowing that every mom out there is doing the exact same thing as me..........and having friends that will laugh and cry with me.....not at my jokes....but at how I look that day!!!!!!!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

This. Is. London.

The year was 2000.   I was 24 years old. I had a huge job in a pharmaceutical company and was quickly heading up the corporate ladder.     During the week I busted my ass at work, which meant I made the rich corporate big wigs even richer (insert eye roll here).   It was very stressful but I worked damn hard every day to prove myself.   But on the weekends, well….. the weekends were a different story.   The weekends were my escape.     After university, my best friends and I quickly became infatuated with the Toronto nightclub scene.   It was the perfect escape for us.   The music, the people, the clothes, the dancing…..it was all so grand, so loud and so fun.    Completely the opposite of our corporate lives. We just craved it all the time.   We couldn’t get enough! You can imagine that going back to work on Monday was just awful. Not only was my body still filled with Red Bull and Vodka, but I swear that I could still feel the pumping of the music’s ba
1 comment
Read more

Standing in the Dark.

“Are you sitting comfortably??   ….then we’ll begin.” Song:    It Doesn’t Really Matter. Artist:   Platinum Blonde. It was a quiet afternoon at the cottage.  Lola was reading on the hammock outside and Molly and I were coloring at the kitchen table. My cousin Julie suddenly barged in.  “Do you know who’s playing in town tonight??” she announced. Molly and I looked up startled. Julie yelled, “PLATINUM BLONDE!!” I gasped and dropped my fuschia-coloured crayon. Next to Guns N’ Roses, Platinum Blonde was a close second on my favorite bands list.   Songs like Standing in the Dark , It Doesn’t Really Matter and Situation Critical  were the theme songs of my youth as I regularly blasted them on my boom box in the 80's. I couldn’t believe that this iconic band would be playing in our tiny town of Haliburton!?  I could only hope that my children would be so kind as to attend
2 comments
Read more

Remember when you used to blog?

"Remember when you used to blog?  Those were the days....." This is what a dear old friend recently wrote to me on Facebook.   I was shocked.  Shocked that this person who I respected and liked so much even read my blog, or even knew that I had one.  And incredibly humbled and honoured that he took the time to send me that simple little line. I stared at the computer and re-read his words over and over again.  His comment had sent a wave of emotions running through me. And I'm sure he had no idea, but he had said exactly what I had been feeling for the past year and a half.   I must have re-read that sentence 20 or even 30 times.  And when I finally felt l like I had tortured myself enough,  I closed my eyes, took a deep  breath, lifted my head, put my hands on my keyboard.........and starting writing.   Again. -------------------------------------------------------------- Writing had always been a source of healing for me.  Since I was a little girl, I h
5 comments
Read more