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Bring on the BLEACH!!!!

So I just came back from getting my hair done.........even though I am literally covering my head with toxins and bleach.....it truly feels like I can BREATHE again!!!!!  I feel like myself again!!!
I started bleaching my hair years ago.......just as I was finishing highschool......just shortly after I discovered makeup.  And then it became something more....something bigger.......I liked the way I looked....a lot!!!  I grew up in a very Polish family.....my mom, my cousins, my aunts....even my 70 year old grandmother were addicted to makeup and hair dye.  So seeing all these made-up women around me all the time was nothing new.....in fact I was always in awe at how stunning they looked!   It was common to get all decked out to go to the grocery store with full on makeup, teased hair, big gold earrings, a tight red-leather jacket and stilletos!
So back to the original point....I started dying my hair blonde just before university...and since I didn't have money to go to the salon, I just did it myself!  My natural hair colour then was a dark blonde, and unfortunately box hair colours don't have the same effect as salon bleach....so my hair went through this god-awful stage of orange-yellow.......tragic!  But then after dying and re-dying....my hair suddenly became this stunning blonde colour.....and then....once I had the funds....I hit the salon and started bleaching the crap out of my hair...a la Gwen and Marilyn....my style icons.  I felt stunning!!!  I felt different!  I felt beautiful!!
But then......the most horrible thing happened to me.....after years and years of bleaching.......my hair started.......(gulp).....breaking!!!!!  Tiny little bleached blonde hair strands were found everywhere.......in the shower....in bed.......on my clothes.....it was like a horrific scary movie!!!!  I consulted my hairdresser....who I think is just divine......."darling.....what should I do?????"  I asked her.  My dear friend looked at me with puppy dog eyes and said "babe....I think you need to let it grow out...."....she said the statement quickly and stepped backwards slightly.....perhaps afraid I would punch her...or cry....either way it would be bad.  I felt a pit in my stomache.  I knew she was right.  "For....for...for how long????"  I asked her.  "Til.....like.....March??"  again, she stepped back.  IT WAS OCTOBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  SHE WANTED ME TO LET MY HAIR GO NATURAL FOR HALF A YEAR????  WAS SHE CRAZY????  I sat quietly.  Unable to breathe.  I whispered "ok....let's do it". 
So for 6 LONGGGG months, I have been....gulp.....natural!!!  It was disgusting.  I was so sick of hearing "wow, you look great as a brunette!"  The word BRUNETTE stabbed me like a knife.  Even when I made a silly joke or made a stupid comment, I'd say "hee hee....that's the  blonde talking!"  and then I'd look at the dark haired woman staring back at me in a window reflection and vomit a little in my mouth.
It's unbelievable how much a hair colour defines you!!!  How much confidence you feel on the inside when you look better on the outside!!!!  And what was most shocking to me was even though I felt horrible as a brunette so many people said they LOVED the new look.  urgh.  disgusting.  Did they not know me at all????  I kept saying...."take a picture....it won't last long..."
So like I said.....it was a long 6 months.....like....a long, cold winter.......but finally, the time came.  My hairdresser gave me her approval and off to her chair I ran....like a little kid allowed to spend their birthday money at Toys R Us!  She put on the smock and I giggled.........she mixed the bleach and I was grinning ear to ear.......she pulled out the foils and I squealed!!!!  After 2 hours of pure bliss.....my hair had stunning blonde streaks all throughout.  "Now....it'll take a while to get it back REALLY blonde"  she says to me....but I'm not even listening.....there is bleach back on my hair and I am as giddy as can be!!!! 
I don't care what people say.....I don't care if people think that "natural is better"....or "the dark REALLY brings out your blue eyes".....or "it's nice to change it up once in a while".  They're all wrong.  To me, beautiful is not natural.  Any woman who wakes up and looks at the mirror first thing know what I'm talking about.  Beautiful is waking up, curling your platinum locks, applying the brightest fuschia-red lipstick, climbing into your tightest jeans, putting on your hottest leather jacket, finding those sexy stiletto boots, throwing on some stunning shades........and going grocery shopping :)

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