Continued from last entry....
After I finished screaming, I looked around at the clinic. Everyone was staring in silence at me.
I looked at Tracey wide-eyed and in utter disbelief. She just shook her head slowly and whispered "I'm so sorry honey".
"How can this be happening Trace??" I muttered sadly. "I'm the biggest Guns N Roses fan in the whole world! How did I not get tickets?? Why is the universe punishing me like this?? I'll never believe in the universe again. NEVER!!"
"Maybe one of your friends will surprise you with a ticket??" she asked hopefully.
I threw my head on my key board and whimpered quietly.
"Probably not. This is so not fair" I whined.
"What's wrong shweetheart?"
Oh brother....the 90-year old was back.
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Later that night, I texted my cousin Victoria.
ME: I didn't get any tix :( :( :(
VICTORIA: Oh no! That sux. I only got 2. I'm taking my mom. It's her birthday the day of the concert.
I didn't text back. I was too depressed. I threw my head into the couch pillow when I heard another text come through.....
VICTORIA: WAIT! Why don't you come with ME?? I won't take my Mama. You love Guns N Roses WAY more than her anyway. lol
OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!
I KNEW IT!!
I knew the universe wouldn't let me down!! I never had a single doubt!!
Again I jumped up and did my Borat dance of joy.
But then I quickly stopped. The concert was 2 months away, so I had to start conserving my energy.
No need to exercise unnecessarily. That's what I always say!
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The day of the concert was like my wedding day. I had begun prepping at 8am.
My hair was freshly bleached (a la 1980's), my nails were painted hot red and my flashy gold jewellery was all laid out.
Next came the clothes.
I first pulled out the tightest pants I owned. Black jeans with a hint of shimmer to make them look like leather pants but without the drama of trying to tear off sticky, sweaty leather at the end of the night (like Ross in that episode of Friends). The pants were glorious. I had no clue how I was going to squeeze into them, but I'd be damned if I didn't. An amazing thing about Guns N Roses concerts is that tight black pants were not only desired, they were practically an expectation.
Next came the shoes. Black, suede high-heeled booties. Ugh...just perfect.
And finally the "piéce de résistance". The shirt. I opened up a tupperware container in my closet that kept my special clothes....you know....the ones that only come out for the most important occasions.
I giggled when I saw it.
The Use Your Illusion Guns N Roses t-shirt that Mama bought me for Christmas when I was only 12 years old, circa 19......well, the year is not really THAT important.
Anyways. What a beauty! I'll never forget the day I saw this masterpiece for the first time. It was on that day, that I vowed to be committed to Axl and the band for the rest of my life.
I placed the shirt delicately above my shiny, tight pants and smiled. No one would have this shirt at the concert. No one.
Last but not least. The makeup.
Another amazing thing about going to a Guns N Roses concert. You can wear oodles and oodles of makeup and not only totally fit-in, but the more you wear, the more compliments you get. It's literally my dream come true.
When I was all ready, I put the last touches on the outfit. Mirrored aviator sunglasses and a long-fringe black purse.
I took one last look in the mirror at the front door before I walked out, and applied my third coat of ruby red lipstick.
Because when is 2 ever enough?? ;)
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As Victoria and I stood in line outside of the Air Canada Centre, I looked around at everyone standing beside me. I had the biggest, dumbest smile on my face. When someone looked directly at me, we nodded at one another.....you know, to acknowledge how cool we were.
"Wooooaaaahhhhhh.....awesome shirt!"
A very drunk guy in probably his late 20's pointed to my t-shirt.
"Where'd you get that???" he slurred.
"This, my friend," I pointed to my worn out top "is VINTAGE", I proudly announced.
"What do you mean?? It was like, your Dad's or something??"
I turned and giggled to Victoria as I realized he must've assumed I was much younger than I actually was.
GREAT SUCCESS!!
"Ladies. Straight through here". My thoughts of youth and beauty were interrupted by a security guard who guided us through the main doors.
We were finally at the gates. Ahhh....I could smell the rock and roll already. I was surrounded by big hair, black leather, and GNR attire. I was home!
As Victoria presented the tickets on her phone to a lady with a scanner, all I could think of was how I could not wait to grab a beer, get to my seat and prepare for what was going to be one of the greatest moments..........my thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a horrific sound. I looked up to see a giant red X on the ticket scanner.
I quickly looked at Victoria, who tipped her phone down and back up again to reveal the ticket. Again the lady scanned the phone.
I gasped as it again revealed another giant red X on the screen.
"What does this mean??" Victoria asked the lady holding the scanner.
"It means your ticket wasn't purchased" said the ticket lady.
My jaw dropped and my brows furrowed. How DARE this woman get between me and my band! Who the hell did she think she was???
"I BOUGHT THESE TICKETS!!" Victoria said assertively "LOOK! I have the paper copies right here!!" Victoria pulled out a crumpled set of Ticketmaster tickets (a la 1985) from her purse. "SEE!!??"
"Sorry sweetie," she said (not sorry at all) "You'll have to go to customer service to figure this out. Customer Service is at gate 9."
Victoria and I looked at each other in sheer panic. Without saying a word, Victoria (in her 4-inch high leather boots) bolted.
"Where are you going??" I yelled. "Why are you running??"
"CUSTOMER SERVICE! C'MON!!!" Victoria was already at gate 6 and I was still standing dumb-founded at gate 5.
"C'MON!!!!" she yelled again.
Oh for the love of God.
I couldn't believe this was happening. I was stranded there alone, at a Guns N Roses concert, without any tickets. And now I had to exercise. This was literally my worst nightmare come to life.
"BUT......I NEED TO STRETCH FIRST!!!" I screamed at Victoria. But her long hair and high boots were just a glimmer as she turned the corner at gate 7.
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I made it to customer service just in time to see new tickets printing off the machine.
Victoria excitedly announced "We got them!!" She looked at me and then grimmaced. "What took you so long? Are you ok??"
I threw my arm on the counter gasping for breath. "Yeah (huff puff), why??"
"Ok. Good. LET'S GO!!!" She grabbed the tickets and started running back to our gate.
I yelled after her "Victoria! Jesus Christ! Slow down! You do cross-fit!! And I.............watch TV!"
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We were finally in the stadium.
I won't even get into the fact that Victoria somehow charmed a line-up of like 20 men and budded in front of all of them to get our beers in a record 35 seconds, but that did happen.
With beers in hand, we shimmied down the aisle and made it to our seats just in time for the lights to go out and for the base of the first song, to come blaring on the speakers. And within seconds my glorious Axl was belting out lyrics that I have been obsessed with since I was a rock-loving, mullet-haired Polish kid growing up in the suburbs.
The band was better than ever, cooler than ever and did not cease to impress me for one second.
At one point Axl, during the pause in November Rain, stopped to take a sip of his drink (probably a camomile tea) and then kept the audience in suspense, screaming, as he sipped away.
I looked around at the fans standing next to us and said "Why is he SO cool?? Isn't he like, SO COOL?? Like, THE COOLEST!"
Victoria laughed as I stared adoringly at my idol.
Axl, Slash and the rest of the band played for over an hour and and half and I sang every single word to every single song they performed. I don't wanna brag but at one point I heard a fan say to his buddy "That chick knows every single word!!" No one had any clue that they were in the presence of the biggest GNR fan of all time.
And even though I was extremely exhausted from the strenuous exercise that Victoria forced me to partake in earlier, I refused to sit down even once.
Cause you can't sit at a rock concert. I'm sorry, but you just can't.
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When the concert was over, we slowly made our way out of the stadium.
The sound of the music still hummed in my ears even though Axl had stopped singing long before.
I suddenly became very sad, when the realization kicked in that I didn't know when I would see Guns N Roses ever again.
Listening to their music is one thing, but seeing them live, and feeling the emotion of being in the same room with them was a whole other thing.
I felt like I was breaking up with someone. And that is the worst feeling ever. I wanted to keep seeing them so badly.....
This band had gotten me through every single tough time in my entire life, and I was already missing them so much.
"Maybe they'll tour again??" I asked Victoria hopefully as we walked through the stadium doors to the outside.
"Probably not" she said.
I sighed.
I walked away from that incredible experience. Hoping and praying that one day our paths would cross again.
But in the meantime, I would not, for a second, stop thinking about the man, the band and the music who brought me so much joy and happiness over the years.
And to Victoria, my fabulous cousin who took me to the concert instead of her mom (which I'm pretty sure means she loves me way more than her) .....I love you so much cuz! You're the coolest xoxo
As we quietly walked down the street trying to hail a cab, I was still sad.
I looked forward to going home and being alone with my thoughts.
"Wanna go clubbing?" Victoria asked.
"Absolutely", I answered.
I'll be alone with my thoughts tomorrow.
;)
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