The clubbing zombie.

"Mishi?  Is this where Indian Motorcycle used to be??"  I ask my sister while pointing out my cab window.

"LODZ!!"  Mishi yells my name angrily in Polish from the back of the cab.  (It's pronounced "ludge") 

"STOP asking where Indian Motorcycle used to be!  You do this EVERY TIME we come to Toronto.  EVERY TIME!!  NO, that's not where Indian Motorcycle used to be.  It was on the other corner.  You sound SO OLD right now!"

I sit back quietly in the passenger seat.

I can feel the cab driver looking at me but I don't turn my head towards him.  I will not give him the satisfaction of looking back.

I rest my elbow on the cab door and rest my chin on my hand.  

"It was a really good club."  I whisper quietly.


After a few more seconds, Mishi and her friends burst out laughing.





Yes, perhaps I am "dating" myself by reminiscing about my party-girl days and the old nightclubs I used to frequent in Toronto.  But how could I not?  Those years were some of the most insane years of my life! This is London, The Eleventh Hour and Indian Motorcycle were second homes to me back in my 20's!  I remember going to work on a Monday morning and counting the hours until I was back on a dance floor.  

I was literally "working for the weekend".







"Here you are" the cab driver said.   The car came to a stop and we all jumped out.  

Because of my gorgeous and super connected friends, we didn't have to wait in line in the freezing cold.  Instead the bouncer removed the chain and let us in as soon as he saw us.  The rest of the line looked on in envy as we scurried in.

And within minutes our coats were off, we had drinks in our hands and I was gettin' my groove on in the middle of the dance floor.  

Do people still say 'gettin' my groove on'?? 

Anyway....that's what I was doing.



But even though I was having a blast.....something wasn't right.  

I was feeling a weird energy around me. 

It wasn't my girls.....and it wasn't the music.  It was something else.....



I slowly scanned the club.  

I looked to my left.

I looked to my right.



GASP!!!


I was surrounded by.......CLUBBING ZOMBIES!!





Let me explain.

The clubbing zombie is a unique type of party person, and a term I coined recently for the growing number of this population.

The clubbing zombie is a person that clubs and parties all the time....BUT has ZERO reaction to anything that happens in the club.  They basically just stand there and drink their drinks and check their phones and don't interact with anyone in the club.  They barely dance at all.....or if they do, it's a very slow bob up and down while they look to see if anyone is staring at them.  Once in a while, they'll check out their competition....and if they see someone that looks like them, then they'll give them a look that basically says "I will eat you alive".  Hence the 'zombie' part of the term.


I only hoped to God that no one in the club was a 5'10" blonde like me.....otherwise I was a goner!


I tried to ignore the fact that I was surrounded by these clubbing zombies or the fact that I was pretty much the ONLY one busting a move on the dance floor.  

Does anyone still say 'busting a move' ??  
 

Anyway, suddenly..... I felt it.  I felt eyes piercing through my back...and through my very fuzzy and fabulous faux fur vest.  (Say that 10 times fast!!)


I slowly turned around.... and there they were.

Two tall women with platinum blonde hair staring me down. 


Shit!!!  They found me!!

Our friend, Bianka suddenly announced, "Girls... we're getting into VIP.  Let's go."

Oh thank God.

I grabbed my purse quickly and ran after my sister and her friends just before the two blonde zombies started their slow and weird catwalk towards me.




It was not like this back in my party-girl days.

Sure...we had clubbing zombies back then..... but it was different.   There weren't as many of them.  And because we didn't have cell phones or texting back in the 90's, people were actually forced to communicate in person and didn't have a phone to hide behind.  

People were forced into having fun.  

Good 'ol fashioned, act stupid, dance your ass off, get-drunk FUN!  



Now, there seems to be a different agenda.  

Even in the nightclub, people are stopping to add each other to Instagram and Facebook and Twitter.  Everyone is so worried about how many "friends" they have and how they look to the public that they are forgetting about the music and the environment and letting loose and going crazy.


Now, don't get me wrong.  I love Facebook and Instagram as much as the next person, but an old fogie like me will almost never stop dancing to check my phone.  I'm too old for technology to stop me in the middle of my kick-ass dance moves. 

Does anyone still say 'kick-ass dance moves'??


Anyway, I felt much better in the VIP lounge.  Obvi!

There were still some zombies up here, but at least there were fewer of them.....and none that looked like me. For the most part, everyone up here was having fun and dancing up a storm.

Do people still say 'dancing up a storm'??


I looked down to the dance floor and saw the 2 tall blondes trying to figure out a way to get into VIP.  They caught me looking at them and gave me the dirtiest look ever.  I quickly boogied away from their line of sight.




Sadly I feel that clubbing will never be the same as it used to.  And maybe that's not such a bad thing.  The new generation is doing things their own way and that's what they like.  And I guess I'll just become an occasional visitor to their new turf.



But as long as I'm there, I will 'pump up the jam', I will 'jump around' and I will 'vogue' til my arms hurt.



Cause you know what......'you can't touch this'.

;)






ps - Here's a pic of us from our night out in Toronto.  Obviously you can tell which one is me.  The one who's having WAY too much fun.  


And the one who's in the fuzzy and fabulous faux fur vest ;)