Ridiculous Girl

Notebook?  check! Writing utensils?  check! Snacks?  check! More snacks?  check! Ok!  Perfect!  All ready for school! I gathered everything up, walked up the short flight of stairs to my office and threw everything on my desk. Yes, you heard correctly.  I said "my" desk. I..........ladies and gentlemen..........went back to school.   I'll pause for a moment while you get your gasps out. ...........  Ok....you're probably done.  I'll continue now. After a year of having no luck in securing a job, I decided, back in June, to take an online course.  I figured that this was the best way to become more employable in a world that has literally, thousands of people applying for every one position. Signing up for this course was the best....and worst decision I've ever made. As if I didn't have enough going on with my life, I decided to add yet another challenge to my plate!  Sure!  Wh...

The other day I ran into an old friend.   She asked how my separation was going.  I told her that it was still a challenge.  That the girls and I were still struggling financially, but that I was moving on and making things work.  And above all, I was happy again. I guess that she was not satisfied with my answer, because she kept pressing. "But, like what's going on right now?  Where is he living?  Do you ever talk to him?" I tried to end the topic.  I shrugged my shoulders, looked up and gave a guttural laugh. "It is what it is.  I'm fine.  Everything will work out." But she STILL wasn't satisfied. "Right....but isn't it SO hard??  Like....it's gonna take you YEARS to get over this.  And after everything he's done to you?  I mean.....it's soooo not fair......." As she went on and on....and on, I realized it was time to make my exit.  I was not interested in this conversation.  "Sorry, I ju...

You may not know this about me, but I am very particular about my van.  I am quite proud of it, and I like to keep it super clean and tidy.  Everything has its place ....my coins, the kid's DVD's, my MAC lipsticks (red and nude), extra snacks, water bottles, 5 pairs of sunglasses, and Polish eucalyptus candies. I also have stowed away in the back several cleaning products.  Glass wipes, tire wipes, shine wipes,  ultra-shine wipes and baby wipes.......for the delicate and hard to reach areas of course. After my car has been through the car wash, and I have painstakingly detailed the entire interior myself....I walk around my van smiling with my arms crossed and wash cloth thrown over my shoulder.  I wink at people as they walk or drive by so that they know that this sweet ride belongs to me. Knowing all this, it should come as no surprise to you then, that I always have my gas topped up, and my oil changes up to date. A few months ago, I took ...

It was one of those mornings. Molly was at my bed at 5:30am.  Lola followed close behind.  Against all my wishes for a longer sleep, these 2 little people had somehow convinced me to get out of bed.  I made it downstairs, and with both eyes closed, managed to prepare breakfast for both girls.  I only opened half an eye to make myself a coffee.  I was tired.....but I didn't want to get burned.  Remember that whole McDonald's fiasco?  I knew I wasn't going to get a million dollars if I spilled coffee all over myself this morning. By 7am, I had already dealt with 2 of Molly's tantrums and spilled milk.  I felt like crying but remembered that saying " Never cry over spilled milk ".  So I whimpered instead.  By 8am, I was involved in a lengthy negotiation with Lola over which outfit she wanted to wear to the zoo.  Her outfit made her look like a 90-year old lady going to "games night".  By 9am, Molly was arguing over ...

For 2 years, I have been fighting.     I have been fighting for justice in a lengthy court battle that by now should have made me fall apart. But it has been 24 months.....and somehow, I have not fallen apart, even though I continue to be challenged nonstop. Just recently someone heard of all the nonsense that I am still dealing with daily and she said, "And you're STILL smiling and laughing??" It made me stop and think.  Yeah!?  How the HELL am I still smiling and laughing?? Now, don’t get me wrong, it was not always like this.   When I first got separated, I didn’t know if I would ever smile again.   I had no clue why my life had gone down the path that it did and I couldn’t seem to shake the feeling of devastation, pity and sadness.   Remember when I blogged about that dark room 2 years ago?   Well,   I was living in it.....day after day after day.   I couldn’t smile, I couldn’t laugh and I was over...