So I'm at my BFF's house the other day for a kids playdate........and who's kidding who....for me to finally talk to an adult. If I had to play one more game of hide-and-go-seek, or listen to Dora's high-pitched voice for any longer....God only knows what I would do to myself.......or to Dora.
My BFF and I have children almost the same age. We have toddlers, who 4 years old, and babies, who are a year and a half. The babies were napping so we only had the toddlers to deal with, who are a handful alone. I'm always shocked at how loud they are. (This is where my sister would yell...."LODZ - YOU'RE LOUD! SHE GOT IT FROM YOU!" and I would answer in a whisper..."I'm not THAT loud".
On a regular basis I wonder how a toddler can talk nonstop for an entire day.
Literally.
An entire day.
No joke.
Like.....24 hours long.
There is not a moment of silence in my house. Very often I whisper "shhhhh" under my breath or "stopppp talkinngggg" while Lola is still going on and on about Ariel or Rapunzel or some other Princess that I will never live up to.
Suddenly the toddlers go quiet. I look up. My BFF catches my eye and winks at me..."Puzzle" she says, as if reading my mind.
"Yes! Puzzle! Puzzles are AWESOME!" I say excitedly. I am loving this sudden peace and quiet. I can finally hear the voices in my head again. Hello friends......
"Totally. Puzzles are so calming." says my BFF. "I find that just sitting here with the kids and helping them is so relaxing for me too."
"I know babe! I feel the same way! I wish Lola would play with puzzles more often. But she'd rather get me involved in a huge Barbie pool party. I mean it's not that bad though....Ken's pretty cute.....and when he wears his speedos......"
She continues on with her story.......
"At our family get-together last summer, my Dad really got into puzzles. He would sit there for hours, with a glass of wine, just working away on his puzzle. He loved it! But then my brother and his wife decided to get him one for Christmas.......a 1000-piece! My Dad couldn't sleep over this crazy thing. He couldn't get any of the pieces and it just stressed him out....but he felt like he had to complete this stupid puzzle!".
What is it with having to finish a puzzle? Were we born with this desire? Why can't we just walk away? I mean, I will sit there for.......at least.... 10 minutes until I finish Lola's Hello Kitty puzzle. It's just so frickin' adorable when you see the finished product......a cat holding a little umbrella in the rain.....c'mon?!!!
My sister brought a puzzle to the cottage last year.....a 1000-piece nature landscape.
My mom got addicted. It was ridiculous. We couldn't use the kitchen table for weeks because God forbid you moved a piece out of place. Mama finally let me put a tablecloth GENTLY over the puzzle when I refused to sit on the floor to eat dinner.
"Vy iz it such a pro-blem to eet on ze floor???!!" she yelled.
That night we all worked on the puzzle. My mom yelled at me many times when I handed her a piece that I thought was the river, but was actually the sky. "LODZ! PAY ATTENSION! DAT IS DE SKY!!"
I rolled my eyes, took a swig of my beer and called it a night.
"Mama!" I said very sternly "Don't be loud ok? I need it to be quiet. Don't work on this stupid thing all night alirght??"
"Yaa-yaa! Ok! Go to sleep!"
She didn't even look up from the puzzle. In fact, she grabbed her granny-glasses and was bringing piece after piece up to her eyes trying to determine if the piece was river or sky.
In my room, which is adjacent to the kitchen, I climbed into bed. After applying my hand cream, putting in my ear plugs and pulling down my eye mask, I turned off the light.
But I can hear Mama through the walls.......and through my ear plugs.....stupid Walmart brand earplugs.
"Iz dat it?? No. Iz dis tree or leaf? Vat about dis? Ahh! Yes! Very good. I have leaf!"
Then I hear tapping. I bet it's Mama's foot on the floor. She always taps her foot when she's working on something.
Then......the humming begins. Mama starts humming the theme song to The GodFather.
Are you kidding me??
I've had it.
I jump out of bed, lift up my eye mask and pull out my ear plugs. I throw open the door and squint as the kitchen light is blaring in my eyes. Goddamit! This is so NOT pre-bed behaviour!
"MAMA!! You need to be quiet! This is ridiculous!! Put the puzzle away and go to bed!"
They all start grumbling at me and pack it up for the night. They're always grumbling at me so it doesn't phase me in the least.
Finally! I can go to bed now. Peace and quiet.
But......at 3am......I am still having troubles sleeping.....
--------------
At 8am, my sister comes out of her bedroom. Her face all scrunched up "Lodz?? What are you doing?? Have you been up all night??"
"Oh shut up.........just sit down and help me figure out if this is river or sky!"
My BFF and I have children almost the same age. We have toddlers, who 4 years old, and babies, who are a year and a half. The babies were napping so we only had the toddlers to deal with, who are a handful alone. I'm always shocked at how loud they are. (This is where my sister would yell...."LODZ - YOU'RE LOUD! SHE GOT IT FROM YOU!" and I would answer in a whisper..."I'm not THAT loud".
On a regular basis I wonder how a toddler can talk nonstop for an entire day.
Literally.
An entire day.
No joke.
Like.....24 hours long.
There is not a moment of silence in my house. Very often I whisper "shhhhh" under my breath or "stopppp talkinngggg" while Lola is still going on and on about Ariel or Rapunzel or some other Princess that I will never live up to.
Suddenly the toddlers go quiet. I look up. My BFF catches my eye and winks at me..."Puzzle" she says, as if reading my mind.
"Yes! Puzzle! Puzzles are AWESOME!" I say excitedly. I am loving this sudden peace and quiet. I can finally hear the voices in my head again. Hello friends......
"Totally. Puzzles are so calming." says my BFF. "I find that just sitting here with the kids and helping them is so relaxing for me too."
"I know babe! I feel the same way! I wish Lola would play with puzzles more often. But she'd rather get me involved in a huge Barbie pool party. I mean it's not that bad though....Ken's pretty cute.....and when he wears his speedos......"
She continues on with her story.......
"At our family get-together last summer, my Dad really got into puzzles. He would sit there for hours, with a glass of wine, just working away on his puzzle. He loved it! But then my brother and his wife decided to get him one for Christmas.......a 1000-piece! My Dad couldn't sleep over this crazy thing. He couldn't get any of the pieces and it just stressed him out....but he felt like he had to complete this stupid puzzle!".
What is it with having to finish a puzzle? Were we born with this desire? Why can't we just walk away? I mean, I will sit there for.......at least.... 10 minutes until I finish Lola's Hello Kitty puzzle. It's just so frickin' adorable when you see the finished product......a cat holding a little umbrella in the rain.....c'mon?!!!
My sister brought a puzzle to the cottage last year.....a 1000-piece nature landscape.
My mom got addicted. It was ridiculous. We couldn't use the kitchen table for weeks because God forbid you moved a piece out of place. Mama finally let me put a tablecloth GENTLY over the puzzle when I refused to sit on the floor to eat dinner.
"Vy iz it such a pro-blem to eet on ze floor???!!" she yelled.
That night we all worked on the puzzle. My mom yelled at me many times when I handed her a piece that I thought was the river, but was actually the sky. "LODZ! PAY ATTENSION! DAT IS DE SKY!!"
I rolled my eyes, took a swig of my beer and called it a night.
"Mama!" I said very sternly "Don't be loud ok? I need it to be quiet. Don't work on this stupid thing all night alirght??"
"Yaa-yaa! Ok! Go to sleep!"
She didn't even look up from the puzzle. In fact, she grabbed her granny-glasses and was bringing piece after piece up to her eyes trying to determine if the piece was river or sky.
In my room, which is adjacent to the kitchen, I climbed into bed. After applying my hand cream, putting in my ear plugs and pulling down my eye mask, I turned off the light.
But I can hear Mama through the walls.......and through my ear plugs.....stupid Walmart brand earplugs.
"Iz dat it?? No. Iz dis tree or leaf? Vat about dis? Ahh! Yes! Very good. I have leaf!"
Then I hear tapping. I bet it's Mama's foot on the floor. She always taps her foot when she's working on something.
Then......the humming begins. Mama starts humming the theme song to The GodFather.
Are you kidding me??
I've had it.
I jump out of bed, lift up my eye mask and pull out my ear plugs. I throw open the door and squint as the kitchen light is blaring in my eyes. Goddamit! This is so NOT pre-bed behaviour!
"MAMA!! You need to be quiet! This is ridiculous!! Put the puzzle away and go to bed!"
They all start grumbling at me and pack it up for the night. They're always grumbling at me so it doesn't phase me in the least.
Finally! I can go to bed now. Peace and quiet.
But......at 3am......I am still having troubles sleeping.....
--------------
At 8am, my sister comes out of her bedroom. Her face all scrunched up "Lodz?? What are you doing?? Have you been up all night??"
"Oh shut up.........just sit down and help me figure out if this is river or sky!"
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