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Technology is STUPID!!!!

My girlfriend calls one night.
"Hi bunny! Whatcha doin?" she says
"Babe!!"  I answer quickly...."I'm DOWNLOADING!!!!!"
"Oh honnnneyyyyy!!!  Good for you!!!" she says in a very "proud momma-bear" voice!
I accept the praise.
"I know!!!!  It's ..like....not THAT hard!!!  I just had to ask about some websites and VOILA!!!  Magic Mike is "en route"!!!!"
"Look at you sweetie!!  I knew you could do it!!!!"
"Ok.....now what does 'seeding' mean???"

So now I'm sitting here with a teeny-tiny little pink MP3 player ....all decaled up in Disney Princesses.....for Lola of course :)  Song after song is being uploaded....Lola will just FREAK OUT!!!!!!!!!! 

Since Christmas......day after day Lola has been asking me the same question "Mommy!  Have you put songs on my princess thingy yet???"
sigh.
"No bunny.  Not yet.  Mommy doesn't know how.  I'll ask my friends ok???"
Lola sighs out loud.  She is NOT impressed.
She goes back to her new LeapFrog Pad which she just got from her Uncle 2 weeks ago.
"Mommy....wanna see the new cartoon I just made on my LeapFrog???"

Are you kidding me??  So as if it's not bad enough that I don't KNOW how to upload or download.....or reload any flippin' song or movie........my toddler...who is not even 4 is creating cartoons....just for fun.  Nice.

"You did that???"  I'm staring at her wide-eyed.
"Yup!  And look at this Mommy!"
Suddenly one of the cartoons starts singing "Happy Birthday". 
"It's MY voice Mommy!!!  I recorded it!!"

wtf?

Why am I soooooo awful at this stuff????
I am literally sitting at my computer and sweating every night trying to figure out how to put a song onto a stupid little pink doo-hickey that has Princesses all over it!!!!!!!!!

I just don't understand when life got so complicated?????

I really truly feel like I'm a 90 year old trapped in a 30-something year old body. 
Why does EVERYTHING have to be electronic??? why?????

"Ok...so what do I do again?????"  I'm asking my friend for the 20th time.
"You just plug this black box into your PS3 and use the controller to find the movies on your TV that I uploaded for you.  Got it??"  she is being so sweet and talking so slowly....but I can tell she doesn't want to explain this again.  "Got it??"  she says again.
"ummm...yesssssss".  I somehow manage to whisper that.
"You don't sound confident".
"Uhhhh.....just tell me....what's the black box again???"
"A hard-drive".
"Right!  A hard drive.  Hard drive.  Hard drive."  I repeat things so I'll remember them.
She rolls her eyes.

Later on that day, I'm standing in front of our giant TV, holding onto this stupid controller and sweating buckets.
"Mommy?  Where are the movies??"
sigh.  "I don't know baby!!" I say impatiently  "I just don't know.  They are somewhere in that box and I have to get them out."
Lola looks at me and then at the box.  She rolls her eyes and continues playing with her Barbies.  Even my toddler knows this is a lost cause.

Suddenly.....I push a button.......and something magical happens!!!!  I see Disney World appear on the screen.  OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!  OH MY GOD...........I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I start screaming!!!!!  I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The Little Mermaid is swimming all over the TV!!!!!!!!!!  I LOVE YOU ARIEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
I'm pretty sure Ariel winks at me!!  And then Ariel whispers "Good job Mommy.  You did it.  I'm proud of you." 
Thanks Ariel.

So I grab a coffee and sit back on the couch.  A huge smile on my face.  I rock!  I figured it ALL out!!  I uploaded movies.....I can download music............I figured out how to use a black box.....oops...HARD-DRIVE........I pretty much have it all figured out. 

I kick butt!!!!

Suddenly Molly grabs my pant-leg.......Molly is a year and a half...........
"Mommy....pease???" she hands me my iphone.
"Dowa.  Pease Mommy?  Dowa??"

Oh brother.







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