Skip to main content

Technology is STUPID!!!!

My girlfriend calls one night.
"Hi bunny! Whatcha doin?" she says
"Babe!!"  I answer quickly...."I'm DOWNLOADING!!!!!"
"Oh honnnneyyyyy!!!  Good for you!!!" she says in a very "proud momma-bear" voice!
I accept the praise.
"I know!!!!  It's ..like....not THAT hard!!!  I just had to ask about some websites and VOILA!!!  Magic Mike is "en route"!!!!"
"Look at you sweetie!!  I knew you could do it!!!!"
"Ok.....now what does 'seeding' mean???"

So now I'm sitting here with a teeny-tiny little pink MP3 player ....all decaled up in Disney Princesses.....for Lola of course :)  Song after song is being uploaded....Lola will just FREAK OUT!!!!!!!!!! 

Since Christmas......day after day Lola has been asking me the same question "Mommy!  Have you put songs on my princess thingy yet???"
sigh.
"No bunny.  Not yet.  Mommy doesn't know how.  I'll ask my friends ok???"
Lola sighs out loud.  She is NOT impressed.
She goes back to her new LeapFrog Pad which she just got from her Uncle 2 weeks ago.
"Mommy....wanna see the new cartoon I just made on my LeapFrog???"

Are you kidding me??  So as if it's not bad enough that I don't KNOW how to upload or download.....or reload any flippin' song or movie........my toddler...who is not even 4 is creating cartoons....just for fun.  Nice.

"You did that???"  I'm staring at her wide-eyed.
"Yup!  And look at this Mommy!"
Suddenly one of the cartoons starts singing "Happy Birthday". 
"It's MY voice Mommy!!!  I recorded it!!"

wtf?

Why am I soooooo awful at this stuff????
I am literally sitting at my computer and sweating every night trying to figure out how to put a song onto a stupid little pink doo-hickey that has Princesses all over it!!!!!!!!!

I just don't understand when life got so complicated?????

I really truly feel like I'm a 90 year old trapped in a 30-something year old body. 
Why does EVERYTHING have to be electronic??? why?????

"Ok...so what do I do again?????"  I'm asking my friend for the 20th time.
"You just plug this black box into your PS3 and use the controller to find the movies on your TV that I uploaded for you.  Got it??"  she is being so sweet and talking so slowly....but I can tell she doesn't want to explain this again.  "Got it??"  she says again.
"ummm...yesssssss".  I somehow manage to whisper that.
"You don't sound confident".
"Uhhhh.....just tell me....what's the black box again???"
"A hard-drive".
"Right!  A hard drive.  Hard drive.  Hard drive."  I repeat things so I'll remember them.
She rolls her eyes.

Later on that day, I'm standing in front of our giant TV, holding onto this stupid controller and sweating buckets.
"Mommy?  Where are the movies??"
sigh.  "I don't know baby!!" I say impatiently  "I just don't know.  They are somewhere in that box and I have to get them out."
Lola looks at me and then at the box.  She rolls her eyes and continues playing with her Barbies.  Even my toddler knows this is a lost cause.

Suddenly.....I push a button.......and something magical happens!!!!  I see Disney World appear on the screen.  OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!  OH MY GOD...........I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I start screaming!!!!!  I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The Little Mermaid is swimming all over the TV!!!!!!!!!!  I LOVE YOU ARIEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
I'm pretty sure Ariel winks at me!!  And then Ariel whispers "Good job Mommy.  You did it.  I'm proud of you." 
Thanks Ariel.

So I grab a coffee and sit back on the couch.  A huge smile on my face.  I rock!  I figured it ALL out!!  I uploaded movies.....I can download music............I figured out how to use a black box.....oops...HARD-DRIVE........I pretty much have it all figured out. 

I kick butt!!!!

Suddenly Molly grabs my pant-leg.......Molly is a year and a half...........
"Mommy....pease???" she hands me my iphone.
"Dowa.  Pease Mommy?  Dowa??"

Oh brother.







Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Remember when you used to blog?

"Remember when you used to blog?  Those were the days....." This is what a dear old friend recently wrote to me on Facebook.   I was shocked.  Shocked that this person who I respected and liked so much even read my blog, or even knew that I had one.  And incredibly humbled and honoured that he took the time to send me that simple little line. I stared at the computer and re-read his words over and over again.  His comment had sent a wave of emotions running through me. And I'm sure he had no idea, but he had said exactly what I had been feeling for the past year and a half.   I must have re-read that sentence 20 or even 30 times.  And when I finally felt l like I had tortured myself enough,  I closed my eyes, took a deep  breath, lifted my head, put my hands on my keyboard.........and starting writing.   Again. -------------------------------------------------------------- Writing had always been a source of healing for ...
5 comments
Read more

This. Is. London.

The year was 2000.   I was 24 years old. I had a huge job in a pharmaceutical company and was quickly heading up the corporate ladder.     During the week I busted my ass at work, which meant I made the rich corporate big wigs even richer (insert eye roll here).   It was very stressful but I worked damn hard every day to prove myself.   But on the weekends, well….. the weekends were a different story.   The weekends were my escape.     After university, my best friends and I quickly became infatuated with the Toronto nightclub scene.   It was the perfect escape for us.   The music, the people, the clothes, the dancing…..it was all so grand, so loud and so fun.    Completely the opposite of our corporate lives. We just craved it all the time.   We couldn’t get enough! You can imagine that going back to work on Monday was just awful. Not only was my body still filled with Red Bull and Vodka, b...
1 comment
Read more

Baiters

I love how kids live in the moment. They have the ability to channel what they're feeling without any other cares in the world.  And one of the most interesting qualities about children, I think,  is their ability to fall in love with people the minute they meet them, regardless of who these other little people are. Just recently I took the girls to the library.  Lola, my social butterfly, immediately meets another girl her age and they start coloring together.  When I walk over to check out her drawings, she excitedly announces "Mommy!  This is Madelaine!  My new BEST FRIEND!" I start laughing. Only a 4-year old would make a new best friend within 2 minutes of meeting her. 2 days later, we meet our new neighbor and his 2 little girls.  Tim comes over and introduces himself.  Lola is already jumping off her bike, staring at the girls the entire time, with her mouth wide open. "Hi.  I'm Lola.  What's your name?", she says in a ve...
3 comments
Read more