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SAVE ME IRON MAN!!!!!

So ....many of you know that I'm obsessed with the Iron Man movies. 
OBSESSED. 
I have both Iron Man 1 and 2 PVR'd and I watch them on a regular basis.

My buddy texts me the other day, "Did you see the preview for Iron Man 3?"
I quickly text back..."What???? No!!!!"
I jump off the couch and run to my computer.

I google...."IRON MAN 3 TRAILER".
My computer is thinking.....that stupid little circle is spinning ....I whisper under my breath.."hurrrryyyyyy"
Suddenly, hundreds of pictures of Robert Downey Jr. and his elaborate red and gold suit flood my screen.
I am giddy with excitement.

I take a sip of my wine and click on the trailer.
I stare wide-eyed at the screen for the next few minutes as images from the upcoming movie flash before my eyes.  I realize that once it's finished, I forgot to breathe.

"So like, what is it about these movies that you love so much??"  my BFF asks me as we're carrying snacks into her family room for girls night.  "I mean, I know you think Robert Downey Jr. is hot!"
"Babe.....it's not just that.  But, yes, he's delicious. It's the IDEA of Iron Man."
"What do you mean??  The red and gold suit??"
"No.  It's the idea of a man ........saving you.....you know??".
"Ohhhh yeah babe..totally!!!" she smiles at me.

We're now sitting in her family room, about to watch Bridesmaids and wolfing down Empanadas and hot chili sauce.  She starts complaining about the empanadas being too spicy.  I'm not listening.

"Remember that part in Iron Man 2 when he has to fight off all those drones??"  I don't wait for her response "And remember when he destroys all the drones and then kills off Vanko, but then he realizes that all the drones AND Vanko are rigged to BLOW???  Do you remember what he says????"

She's staring at me like I've just lost my mind.

"PEPPER!!!  He says PEPPER!!  Remember?????"
"....like....salt and pepper??"  she asks quietly, her face all scrunched up.
"URGH!  NO BABE!!  PEPPER POTTS!!!  Gwyneth Paltrow!!  The love of his life?  Remember???"  I'm getting upset with my friend now. 
"Babe.....I'm not even sure I saw that movie...."
"What?????  Why????  It should be in your top ten!!!!  Urgh....anyway......he flies back to save Pepper!!!!!!  Isn't that romantic????  And then he sees her, and right before all the drones blow up, he scoops her up and flies her to safety.  And then they realize that they're meant to be together and they kiss on the rooftop!!!  How did you not see this movie????"
"Can we put Bridesmaids on now?"  she leaves me on the couch.

I ignore her and take a sip of my wine.

Is it so much to ask for a smart.....sexy.....confident man........who owns a multi-billion dollar company.......who owns a suit that can do ANYTHING.....and who would scoop you up the minute danger posed a threat to your life?  I honestly don't think it's THAT much to ask for???

"But you know he's only like 5 foot 8 or something?"  my friend yells over the DVD player as she's putting Bridesmaids on.
My heart just stopped.
"WHAT????"  I yell back.
"Yeah.  Apparently he wore lifts in his shoes for the Iron Man movies."

My heart is racing.  This can't be!!!!  The perfect man is only 5 foot 8?????  But I'm 5 foot 10.....a giraffe like me could never be with a shrimp like that!!! 
I grab my iphone.....I look this detail up.
Gasp!!!
She's right.

"Oh my God babe." She starts laughing at me.  "You didn't seriously think you'd hook up with Robert Downey Jr????  And plus, I think he's married.  And just had a kid."

I'm having heart palpitations. 

She starts laughing harder.  "Oh my God....you're such a nerd.  Wait, what are you doing now????"

I yell back "Shut up.  How do you spell Christian Bale??"
  












Comments

  1. Unknown14 March 2013 at 09:39

    Leo, you never cease to make me laugh with every blog you post!! Love them!!

    ReplyDelete

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