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Hot mess meditation.




I am a firm believer in the power of yoga.  

Being able to quiet my mind in a chaotic and busy world of work, children and just everyday life is an absolute necessity in maintaining my peace of mind and sense of self. 

So you can imagine that I jumped at the chance at taking my “mind-quieting” to a whole other level when my sister invited me to join her for my very first meditation class.

I was over the moon!  The sacred and energetic full moon that is……

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On the day of my mindfulness journey, I met my sister at the studio, excited and ready to partake in absolute nothingness.

As we entered the meditation room, my sister stepped away to chat with some of her friends.  So I took that time to set up our mats and peruse the space..  It was small, warm and dim-lit.  VERY cozy.  Perfect for a morning of deep relaxation :) 

Once lined up in the room, everyones' yoga mats were practically touching.  It didn’t seem like there was an inch of space for another person.  So I assumed that the studio staff member knew what she was doing when she called out to the secretary,  “We can still fit one more!”.

As my sister and I stretched and whispered-chatted to one another about her previous meditation experiences, I noticed one more woman come in.  She quietly unrolled her yoga mat, lied down and closed her eyes. 

There, the room was full now!  I’m sure we would begin any minute.  So I crossed my legs, placed my hands on my knees, closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

I felt such peace.  This was EXACTLY what I needed after a long and busy week.  I needed to be AWAY from real life! And this was the perfect place.  Quiet and serene.

I took an even deeper breath, this time along with a super loud exhale.  This way my neighboring yoga mat friends would think that I was an expert in meditation.  Because even though I’m a self-admitted “hot mess”, I didn’t want anyone ELSE to think that.


I exhaled one more time, releasing all of my stress from the week before.   I was about to get into my meditation zone when suddenly the door whipped open.

A very loud and rambunctious woman stormed into the room.  She look incredibly disheveled.  Her reddish-brown hair was wild and curly, her outfit was baggy and stained and she ran across the room in a panic holding her yoga mat which was starting to unravel under her arms.  

Now SHE was a hot mess!

The secretary called out after her “Ma’am! The class is full already!”  But hot mess didn’t listen.  She just kept scrambling around us muttering “I need to do this class….”

She stepped over several people and tried to unroll her mat into several ‘impossible to squeeze into’ spots.  We all sat quietly yet impatiently watching her and wondering what her next move would be.

I looked at my sister and rolled my eyes.

This was SO not pre-meditation behavior.  This woman had me all shaken up!  Now I would have to exhale loudly like 4 more times to get back to my calm zen space.  Ughhhhh…..

The secretary politely asked the woman to come back to the office to talk.


I would NOT have been polite.  

I would’ve been like, “Hey! Crazy Pants!!  Your CHI is messin’ us all up!  Get outta here!!”

But regardless of how this woman was escorted, the door closed yet again and we were finally back to our quiet pre-meditation.

Ahhhh…….

It was then that our Yogi ever-so-silently entered the room.  He smiled at each of us, sharing his incredible calm energy, as he took his place at the front of the class.  He then sat down and introduced himself.  Hae Kwang Sunim was his name. 

Ooooohhhhh, his name was SO fancy!

This guy was super cool.  His aura was excellent too.  And I would know because I know aura’s.

His flowy long shirt was also amazing.  

Based on his appearance alone, I just knew that this class would be incredible! 

Sunim began speaking and we were all peacefully listening when suddenly hot mess barged in again!? 

Oh for the love of Sunim!!! 

What was she doing here again??

The secretary ran over to the Yogi and whispered something to him.  She looked frustrated.  He closed his eyes (in true yogi fashion), lifted his hand up to her as if to say “it’s ok, I got this” and he motioned for hot mess to come in.

He pointed to a small spot at the very front of the room next to him and then peacefully smiled at her.

Hot mess muttered thank you over and over again and then proceeded to set up her space.

For the next 5 minutes, as Sunim spoke to all of us, we all tried to get back into our own personal zen.

I closed my eyes, dropped my chin to my chest and inhaled and exhaled loudly again.

But I couldn’t relax, because hot mess kept making noises.  She kept shuffling, rifling through her purse and coughing. 

So help me God if this annoying woman brought her flu into my meditation bubble!  I'll be so pissed!!

But after another minute she got settled and stopped coughing. 

Finally!


But I was wrong.  

It was then that I heard whimpering.  

OMG, don’t even tell me…….

Without lifting my head, I opened my eyes and looked at her.  Hot mess had started crying.

What now????

Normally I would feel bad for someone if they started crying around me but this was just too much!  Hot mess CLEARLY needed to go home and watch This is Us while downing a bottle of wine and a bag of Doritos.  

Sunim looked over at her and quietly asked if she was ok.

She nodded, and then blew her nose loudly into a Kleenex.

I looked over at my sister and mouthed the words “Oh Brother……”


Sunim then began the class.


And I wasn’t sure if this meditation was going to take me to a land of peace and tranquility or to the land of ultimate chaos.




To be continued……

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