Slash, and the cat.

The key to writing a successful blog each week is to follow the parts of a simple story:  exposition, rising action, climax, falling action and conclusion.

I try to do this in every single one of my stories for you each week.

You're welcome.

But today I have decided to start with the conclusion and THEN tell you the story. 

I just feel like sometimes it's fun to change things up!  Isn't it???

So here goes.

Here is the concluding picture of my upcoming story.

Yes.  THAT happened.  

I actually met THE one and only Slash from my favorite band of all time, Guns and Roses.

Now let’s back up a bit to the beginning shall we??  The "exposition" if you will.

When this dream-come-true was first born as a very unsuspecting surprise….

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September 3^rd, 2017  

My birthday. 

The most fabulous day of the year.

The day that the Lord above blessed us with a magical baby.  Ridiculous Baby. 

I was bald, blue-eyed and super chubby.  

Almost exactly like a cherub.  

I was cute, and giggly and happy and……………..wait, I’m getting side-tracked aren’t I?

Where was I??  

Oh yes….on this magical day, I received a text from my incredible Russian friend Marina. 

I would like for you to read this text.

Now please don’t forget the Russian accent when you read it.  Even though there is no need to add a voice to a text.  But please do it anyway.  It will make me happy.

Happy Birtday darling!  You are fabuloussss.  I need to see you soon to give you your gift. XO

There is one thing you should know about Marina.

She is VERY hard-core.  In fact, she could kick anyone’s ass.

There was no messing with this woman.  When she told you that she wanted to see you, you re-arranged your ENTIRE week to see her.  

Now….that all being said……she is also one of my sweetest and most generous friends of all time, and I love her dearly.  So she would NEVER kick MY ass.

But for the rest of you……….she might kick YOUR ass.

A few days later, Marina and I were sitting at my kitchen table enjoying take-out sushi, when she finally said,

“Ok, so now….your present.  Here is a hint.  What is happening on October 29^th??"

I sat quietly for a second.

Shit.


Was I forgetting something big?  Was it her birthday that day??  Was it the anniversary of the first day we met?  Or the first time we professed our friendship to one another??  What was it??

She looked very annoyed with me, and finally yelled in her strong Russian accent. (which is VERY scary ps.)

“Who is your FAVORITE band?????”

It suddenly clicked!

Guns N’ Roses were coming to TORONTO on October 29^th! 

I jumped off of my chair and gasped.

“NO YOU DIDN’T!!????” I screamed at the top of my lungs while looking at her in disbelief.

She started smiling.

“Yes.  I got us tickets to the show.  But that’s not all…..”

Oh my God!!  What else could there be!!???  

I was once again lucky enough to see my favorite band of ALL TIME!  There was NOTHING better than this.

“After the show……….” (she smirked her devious Russian smirk) “……...we’re going backstage to meet Slash.”

And just like that folks, after all these years, my good friend Marina finally kicked my ass.

;)

The day of the concert was an absolute whirlwind.  

I had once again pulled out my staple Guns N’ Roses outfit consisting of super tight and shiny black pants, black boots and a vintage band shirt.

Now, for those of you who might be thinking “who wears a band shirt to that band’s concert??  That’s so lame!”  

Well, to you people I respond with……………”you’re TOTALLY wrong”.

OBVIOUSLY you wear the shirt of that band to SUPPORT them and show them your undying love.  That's just a given.

Please don’t argue with me any further about this topic. I don’t want to discuss it anymore.

Anyways, again……where was I??  I'm all flustered now.

Oh yes, my outfit!!

It was just PERFECT!   Along with my hair and red lips and gold jewellery accents.

As I was getting dressed, I suddenly received a text:

Hey Leokadia.   It’s Slash’s assistant.  Just touching base about tonight.

Ummmm……..what?????

What was happening here!!???

HOLY CRAP!!!

Did I actually just get a text from Slash’s assistant????

I responded as calmly and appreciably as I could.

And luckily for me,  the texts continued......

And suddenly I felt like the coolest Goddam person in the world!!

And like it sometimes does, my excitement suddenly turned to aloof-ment.  (Wait, is that a word??? Well, if it's not....let's make it one!)

I quickly called my boyfriend and aloof-ly announced,

"So like, no big deal, but I’m texting Slash’s assistant right now."


He started laughing and said, "Haha!  That's AWESOME!!"

Then I texted my sister, best friend, and about 10 other super close friends.  Ya know…..still being super aloof-like.  

Like it was the most normal thing in the world that I was about to meet a rockstar GOD.

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Marina and I arrived at her good friend’s house…..the girl who was connecting us with the big man himself.

We sat and drank wine and enjoyed the massive floral display which consisted of 24 red roses……and a plastic gun in the middle of them ;)

Everything was perfect.  

Except for the girl’s kitten.  

Sure it was cute, but a royal pain in the ass!!

She jumped on and climbed up my shiny black pants with her super sharp little kitty claws as I wailed in pain.  The kitten didn’t look frazzled by my screaming at all.  Instead she jumped off of my lap and onto the kitchen counter and rubbed her back against the gun and 2 dozen roses.

I’m one of those people that even if I’m in severe pain, I won’t say a word.  I’ll still smile and pretend like everything is ok.  I somehow have that ability to mask all inner agony.  I know….it’s a gift.

Anyway, the reason I’m telling you this is because as this cat was torturing me, I still called it “sweet” and “cute” and “so friendly!” 

Insert eye roll here.

The best was when the cat tried to attack Marina though.  She immediately yelled, “OH NO!!  YOU GET OUT OF HERE CAT!  YOU ARE CRAZY!”

Side note:  Russians do not like cats. 

(I just made that up.)

Anyway, I decided to do some due diligence prior to meeting my hero, and I asked Marina’s friend what Slash was like.

“Oh, he’s super chill.  Very down to earth guy and very sweet.  When he was here the other day we were talking about….”

I rudely interrupted her…..

“I’m sorry, when he was HERE??????”  I yelled.

Marina’s friend laughed, “Oh yeah, he was here hanging out.  He LOVED the kitten.  It was super cute, he was just lying on the couch and the kitten wouldn’t leave him alone!”

Now I was suddenly jealous of this annoying cat. 

“Ok guys” Marina’s friend yelled out (there were about 10 of us in her Toronto condo now) “Time to go!!  Now….one word of advice.  Please don’t get drunk, please don’t puke, and please don’t make a fool of yourself.  I’m representing Slash so we all need to be cool backstage, ok??”

Clearly Marina’s friend didn’t know me that well.

Of COURSE I was cool!! 

My middle name was cool!!!

(Actually it’s Lara, but I bet if my parents knew me better the day that I was born, they’d re-think that middle name….)

We all threw on our coats, put on the last touches to our makeup and walked out of her condo.

And as we went down the 24 flights in the elevator, we all sang Sweet Child O’ Mine at the top of our lungs ;)

………to be continued.