My cousin just had a baby. A gorgeous little boy. Her first.
While texting back and forth last week, she said something that immediately brought me back to month 1 with Lola.....
I'm only NOW understanding what spare time means when you're a mom!
I know EXACTLY what's she's talking about.
I remember all too well what it was like to go from no baby in the house....to "what the hell just happened here???"!
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January 2009
It was 3 weeks before my due date and I was getting ready to bring a new fabulous child into this world.
I was pretty confident in what it was going to be like to have a new baby, even though it was my first.
The nursery was finished, my hospital bag was packed and I was rocking a new short hair do. I was going to be a super-stylish mom. Like Angelina....or, Heidi, or Gwen!
I was soooooo excited!
There was only one teeny-tiny thing that kept bugging me.
But I knew just who to ask for some advice.
"Hey Syl! Quick question. People are telling me that I won't have time to shower when the new baby arrives. That's totally bogus right?"
Sylvia, who like me is a fellow Polack who enjoys her bleached blonde hair and red lips, and who just 6 months prior had a baby girl, wrote back a few days later.
"Unfortunately it's true. There's just no time."
Even though I immediately felt a tightening in my chest....I was still not convinced. And I refused to take this as her ....as Regis Philbin would say... final answer.
"But you still found time to get ready? And put makeup on right?"
Again, I waited patiently for her answer. The horrific message came the next day.
"No babe :( I didn't wear makeup for the first 3 months. My roots are still out-grown and if I leave the house at all, it's a good day".
This was not good.
This was horrible.
Something was wrong with my friend Sylvia!
I'm SURE she had time to take a shower, or even draw on some eyebrows for heaven's sakes! But for some reason she didn't want to!
I couldn't figure out why.
I sent her one last message saying that I was there for her..... anytime she needed to talk.
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February 2009
After 13 hours of labor, my gorgeous and chubby 9 pound baby had arrived!
It was a GIRL!
She was perfect! Red hair.....full lips....and dark blue eyes.
We were going to sleep together, and snuggle, and go to the mall, and go grocery shopping!
Just me and my beautiful girl!!
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March 2009
I haven't left the house in 35 days.
I haven't showered in 2 weeks.
And I haven't slept in 48 hours.
Not a stitch of makeup has touched my face, and I'm pretty sure there is a family of squirrels living in my hair. I look disgusting!!
What has this baby done to me?? How can I not find even ONE SECOND to do anything for myself?? What the heck is going on???
This was ridiculous!!
Suddenly I had a very strange feeling that maybe it wasn't just Sylvia.....
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April 2009
After months of waking up 6-8 times a night to tend to the baby, I finally got a sort-of decent night's sleep.
I wasn't exactly ready to leave the house yet, but I knew I HAD to in order to preserve some sort of sanity. I decided to take baby Lola to our first play group at the YMCA.
It was a bit of a fiasco getting there, but soon enough, the babies were playing and I was chatting with the other moms and drinking a coffee. De-caf....but still.
I immediately felt much better. Like I could finally stop and breathe!
It felt SO GOOD to be out of the house and be talking to adults again! Sure, we all looked a little scruffy around the edges...no makeup, greasy hair in a ponytail, trackpants and bags under the eyes....but we had finally had a moment for ourselves.
I was laughing with one of the moms when suddenly a group of women walked in the door. I looked up and was immediately shocked to see women that didn't look like us.
They were beautiful.
Their hair was flowing, their trendy tops matched their super tight yoga pants, and each of them had the perfect shade of lipgloss on.
None of them had vomit on their shoulders. None of them were lugging around a car seat and a diaper bag. And none of them looked tired.
They looked free....and fabulous.
I soon noticed that their kids were with them, but the kids were older. Totally self-sufficient.
I watched as their children did everything by themselves. Took off their coats, pulled off their boots, grabbed their lunch bags and kissed their moms good-bye as they ran off to their groups.
The moms stood in their circle for a bit longer talking amongst themselves, and occasionally sipping from their large Starbucks cups or purified water bottles. There was probably caffeinted coffee in those cups......maybe pumpkin spice lattes. Sigh....
I tried not to stare. But I couldn't help it.
They looked so fresh. So relaxed. So well rested.
What was it like to feel like that? To LOOK like that.
I couldn't remember......
The relaxed moms finally left.
Not because a baby was crying, or needing a nap, or needing a diaper change.....but because the mom was ready to go. She left at her own free will.
I stared at them in envy. And as the last mom walked out the door, she looked back and saw Lola sitting in my lap giggling. She smiled at Lola....and then at me.
I smiled back as she walked out the door. And I watched her as she flicked her soft bouncy hair out of her face, threw her yoga mat over her shoulder and skipped off to class.
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December 2014
I heard the door slam and a pitter-patter of feet run in at 7'oclock.
"DOOD MO-NING MOMMY!!!"
Lola and Molly ran into my bathroom and jumped up on the counter.
"Hi bunnies!!!"
I finished applying my ruby red lip gloss and kissed each of them leaving a shiny wet smooch mark on their chubby cheeks.
"Mommmmm!!!!!"
"C'mon you crazy cats! We gotta get to the Y!!"
I threw my yoga mat over my shoulder, flicked my platinum bangs out of my face and skipped down the stairs after my 2 little girls.
Never thought in a million years that this day would come ;)
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