Ted vs. Paul

As many of you know from my stories, I am a stubborn person. 

When I want something, I work hard to get it.

And when I finally have it, then I do everything in my power to keep it.

I am quite dedicated to things and people in my life.

But when something, or someone, betrays me, then I immediately remove myself from that person or from that situation. 

Like….it’s not even a 2-second thought.  

You cross me??  I bolt.  And in nano-seconds people.  NANO!

And just the other day folks, there was just such a feeling. 

And I bolted.

From someone who was REALLY bugging me.  

Someone who had his head so far up his ass that I REFUSED to give him any more of my time or attention. 

Now, you might be thinking, “Woahhhh, who screwed Leo over???”  “She’s PISSED!”  “She looks so happy and calm all of the time, but she’s actually a Scorpion woman!”

Yes everyone, it’s true.  I AM a Scorpion Woman!

Wait………..no I’m not!?   

I’m a VIRGO!  

And I’m lovely :)

Sorry about that!  Got myself all riled up there!

Ok, let’s bring it back down shall we?

Anyway, you must be wondering WHO has crossed me in such a way that has gotten me SO upset recently.

Well let me tell you who it is folks.

His name is Ted.    

Ted Rogers in fact.

Yes, the SAME multi-billion dollar man behind the massive ROGERS entity.

Now, normally I would NEVER speak ill of the dead, but this man has continued to screw me over long after he has deceased.   

I have been a DEDICATED and LOYAL customer of Rogers for over 15 years now, and for the most part they have been pretty good with me.  Customer service, quality and price has always been fair and/or comparable to the competition.

But LATELY, Rogers has NOT been kind. 

Over the past 3 years, my bills have continually increased to the point where I as a single mother can no longer afford my services.  

And the ONLY way to bring down my bill folks, was to remove services… one by one.  

Why, just a few weeks ago, I had to drop down from the VIP  package to………….dare I say it…………BASIC CABLE!??? 

 And for those of you who know me, KNOW how much I love and NEED my shows.  

The Good Place, Marvel’s Agents of Shield and Love it or List it Vancouver are a daily MUST for my well-being and mental health.

I cannot function without my shows.

But, where was I??  

Oh yes…. Ted.

Ted was REALLY starting to piss me off.  

The minimal amount that I was getting from him wasn't enough for me to invest in this relationship any longer.

And I was finally ready to say good-bye to him once and for all.

And shortly after I had made the decision to remove Ted from my life…….. something very interesting happened. 

Just like it usually does in my life..... when one door closes, another one miraculously opens……

It was 7pm last Tuesday night, and my doorbell rang.

I opened the door to find a very joyful looking man on my front porch. 

His name was Paul.

And he was from BELL.

Paul was very interesting.  

He spoke incredibly fast (as most sales people do) and he had a lot to say (as most sales people do) and he seemed to know exactly how to answer each of my difficult questions in a way that would impress me with his value and knowledge  (as most………...well, I think you get it by now.)

Now when it comes to sales guys, I usually don’t believe everything they say.  For the simple fact that their job is to SELL you – and they are trained to tell you what you want to hear in order to make that sale.

But 2 things made me not close the door on Bell’s representation.

1) Rogers was in my bad books, so without knowing, Paul already had a foot in my door (literally), and

2) Paul had a nervous twitch….which I kind of liked.

His nervous twitch came out in a blink.  And the faster Paul spoke, the more he blinked.

This twitch made him appear slightly awkward – and for someone like me, who is awkward almost 100% of the time, I already felt a slight connection with Paul.  

So….. those 2 factors alone, motivated me to listen to Paul a tad longer.

He was also sweating a lot.  

And I kind of liked that he seemed nervous trying to make this sale.  It made him more endearing.  And less cocky. 

All of this combined gave Paul a little bit more “sales time” at my front door.

When he momentarily stopped his 20 minute “spiel” to ask if I was at ALL interested in switching over to Bell, I just started laughing.

He looked at me slightly confused.

I responded with “Paul.  I like you.  And you’re very good at this job.  BUT……. you still haven’t sold me yet.”

And then I proceeded to put Paul through my series of “Ridiculous Girl’s Corporation Conversion Tests”. 

But first, I gave Paul a glass of water.  

After all, I didn’t want the guy to pass out on me from dehydration during the exam.

Paul was then subjected to a multitude of questions, all to determine whether:

a)      He was really who he said he was.  (“If PAUL is even your real name……???”)

b)      If he really worked at Bell.  (“Is this badge even legit??  China can recreate ANY logo you want for pennies…..”)

c)       Or, if Bell even knew who he was.  (“Why don’t I call the main Bell number using MY cell phone, then I’ll know we’re not calling your buddy Chris who’s parked down the street from my house.  Also, let me look up the main Bell phone number online, what number are you dialing anyway??…..310-BELL???  Pfffttt!!  How do I know that that’s actually the real……………oh wait…..yes, that is the main Bell number…….”)

Once Paul passed all of my tests, AND did not seem annoyed once by my endless questions, my test “eye-rolls” and my responses to everything he said with “Is that what they TOLD you to say to me?????”, I decided that Paul really was a Bell employee and really was busting his butt to get this sale.

I have to say, once he was done, I was quite impressed.  

Even more so that he continued to sweat the entire time we spoke. 

Now that I think of it, it could’ve been the fact that he wore his thick Bell winter jacket while he was talking and while I had the fireplace AND central heating blaring the entire time.

But probably not.

It was probably still him.  And his nerves.

Anyway, at the end of our conversation, I FINALLY decided to give Paul my business.  After all, he worked (and blinked and sweated) so hard……. it was the least I could do for him.

Not to mention, the price would be better, the cable package would be better (back up to 300 channels again...thank GOD!!) and I would finally have FibeTV. (I still don't really know what that means....but I think it's like, REALLY good!!)

Now…..I know……….this is the part where you guys tell me that Bell is JUST as bad as Rogers.  And that they will do everything exactly the same…….. and that I may end up just as frustrated as before.

Well, you could be right.

But folks, let’s get real.  

No man is perfect.  

Not Ted, not Paul………….not anyone.

And at the end of the day, Momma just wants to come home from work, pour herself a glass of wine and watch her cable TV shows.

And I would no longer being doing that with TED!

I was DONE with him!

He had pushed it too damn far with me.  

He got too cocky for his own good. ……..and he assumed I’d stick around with him forever.

Well you know what Ted???  I think you forgot that there is ALWAYS someone else willing to play the game.

This other player might be nervous at first …..and might be sweaty …....and perhaps not as confident as you......but his qualifier game is STRONG! 

He came in fast and hot and ready to fight.

And Ted my friend.....he just kicked you out of the playing field ;)

GO FIBE GO!!