Ridiculous Girl

"Sweetie?" "Yes Mommy?" "Let's go for a walk!" "Ok!!!  I'll get my Dora bicycle!!!" I strap the one year old in the stroller with tons of toys, rice puffs (in an impossible to open container...for hours of pleasure) and a bottle. The 3 1/2 year old jumps on her bicycle.  I push on her helmet.  "OWWWW!!!  urgh!!!  Not so HARD Mommeeeeee!!!!" sigh.  I barely pushed. And we're OFF!!!!! Oh no!  A green electrical box.  Here we go! "Mommy, Mommy!!!!!  Let's play Starbucks!!!!!" sigh. So, every single walk.....and every single electrical box.....we must play Starbucks.   It was super cute when she first started this game.  She would run behind the box, duck, I would have to call "Ohhh Starbucks lady?"  and she would jump out and the ordering and sales would begin. But we walk EVERY SINGLE DAY and there are about 10 electrical boxes on our route. "Ok. Mommy."  she says...

Our shower has not been functional for 6 months.  The caulking keeps peeling off.  Apparently you need caulking on the seals.  Otherwise water seeps behind the tiles.  Are you impressed with my knowledge of showers yet??  You should be. We have a gorgeous glassed in shower......that we cannot use. I am about ready to fix it myself. My husband is not only crazy busy with our company....but is also NOT  a huge fan of handy work....which prevents him from jumping on this job with excitement and joy. I, on the other hand, would work on my house 24-7 if given the opportunity.  But I know NOTHING of handy...person....jobs. Which makes me think.....how many handy-WOMEN are out there?????? "Of course I cut the grass!!!  I LOVE cutting the grass!!!" one of my girlfriends once told me. "John??  We don't need John!!  I'll cut this wood myself!!!"  another friend says. Then there's my BFF who on a regular basis is telling me things...

We just came back from our friends cottage.  Spectacular is the only way I can describe it.  High cathedral ceilings.  Stunning hardwood floors.  Gorgeous "chefs" kitchen with granite counter tops.  Top of the line ski boat.  All the water sport gadgets you could dream of.  Bubbling hot tub....ready to loosen those muscles and heat up every bone in your body.  Plush guest bed that reminded me of the last high-end hotel I stayed at in New York.  I have tasted the good life. And now.........I start day dreaming. "BABY?!!!!!" He sighs....he knows that tone......"yes dear?" he says in a matter-of-fact way. "WE NEED TO MAKE MILLIONS!!!!!!" "Oh really?  WE do???"  he snickers .......knowing that HE is the bread winner of the family. "YES!!!!  WE do!!!!!"  I yell back. I am yelling since he is still upstairs in the bathroom getting ready for work and I am downstairs looking at million dollar properties on line.  Wha...

So I'm addicted to MANY reality shows.  The Bachelor.  Bachelorette.  Bachelor Pad.  Love in the Wild.  Amazing Race. America's Next Top Model.  The list goes on and on.  I love sitting back, with a glass of wine, and watching all these ridiculous people competing for either love....or money....or fame.....I just think it's an absolute riot!!  And soooo far-fetched from my routine life, that it keeps me completely entertained.  (ps - you must think I'm an alcoholic from the number of reality shows I watch since I drink wine during all of them.  We'll end that discussion there.)  But the one reality show that I continue to watch.....and it drives me COMPLETLY BONKERS is Keeping Up with the Kardashians.  If you've never watched this show before.....you have not missed out on anything....in fact, you're smarter for NOT watching the show!!!  But, for the purpose of this blog, basically the show follows th...