Ridiculous Girl

As many of you know, I have worked in a couple of medical clinics over the past 2 years.  At my position, I come into contact with literally hundreds of people every single day.   Some are good, some are bad, and some are,  well, very interesting. The good are the people who are sweet and kind and very complimentary.... "Oh sweetie, thank you so much for your help!  You are a great asset to this clinic!" The bad are the people who pick fights with me because I couldn't squeeze them in to see the doctor the same day.  Just last week I had a "go-nowhere" fight with an old man who yelled at me because I told him that the doctor was at a conference and he wouldn't get his narcotics on the same day.  This is how the end of our fight went.  Enjoy!  Me:  "Stop being rude to me!" Him:   "YOU stop being RUDE to ME!!" Me:   "I'm not being rude. You're not listening to me!" Him:   "Well YOU'RE not listening t

One day, Mama did  something  horrible.  Something unspeakable.  Something a mother should NEVER do to her daughter. It's almost hard for me to talk about. But I think I have to.   I think it's healthy for me to get this off my chest and share my story with the world. Ok.  Here goes. Mama.....(gulp).....bought....me.......(sniff).....a.......PLANT. I'll give you a moment to gasp. You ok? As good as you can be I guess after hearing such horrific news. A few months ago, Mama pranced up my front steps, looking fabulous as always.  Her blonde hair in a perfect Marilyn Monroe coif, her nails matching her purse (which that day were both red, but the day before were both pink).   And her shoes were perfectly polished as they clicked up the concrete stairs. She presented the giant plant to me (which was the size of a small tree) with her jewellery-covered hands.  She then made her way towards an empty pot at my front door. "Look

Continued from last entry.... After I finished screaming, I looked around at the clinic.  Everyone was staring in silence at me.   I looked at Tracey wide-eyed and in utter disbelief.  She just shook her head slowly and whispered "I'm so sorry honey".   "How can this be happening Trace??" I muttered sadly.  "I'm the biggest Guns N Roses fan in the whole world! How did I not get tickets??  Why is the universe punishing me like this??  I'll never believe in the universe again.  NEVER!!" "Maybe one of your friends will surprise you with a ticket??"  she asked hopefully. I threw my head on my key board and whimpered quietly.   "Probably not.  This is so not fair" I whined. "What's wrong shweetheart?"   Oh brother....the 90-year old was back.   ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Later that night, I texted my cousin Victoria. ME:  I didn'

It was a quiet spring evening.   I sat at my desk (couch), reading the latest news reports (Facebook updates), drinking a camomile tea (red wine), in my tight Lululemon clothes (baggy Stitches army-printed track pants). When all of a sudden, my Facebook account started dinging out of control with updates.  I thought to myself....what could all of this racket be about??   I clicked on the link that had my name in caps followed by what looked like a million exclamation points.  The following article immediately popped up..... GUNS N' ROSES CONFIRM NORTH AMERICAN TOUR Gasp!!!! I placed my camomile tea delicately on the table (chugged my red wine in one gulp and threw the glass at the fireplace).  I jumped up and started screaming and doing the Borat dance of joy.  My dreams had finally come true!! My favorite band in the whole world (and also the BEST band to have ever been created) was back baby! And NOTHING..... I mean NOTHING was going to stop me from seeing them